Four Minutes
by SillverMedal
Summary: At fifteen they had grown apart, but when one of them is caught inside a dangerous fire and in a whirlwind of illegal mistakes the twins will remember that they will always be brothers. Complete!
1. Move Along

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_

**Rating**: PG-13 for violence, language, and some drug use.

**A/N**: Someone I considered to be a friend has recently admitted to having a drug problem. I wrote this story to dedicate to them, and tothe Anti-Drugcampaigns going on. There are some mistakes you can't take back, and this is one of them.

* * *

_**Four Minutes **_

Chapter One

_Move Along

* * *

_

"I want my own room."

She was a forty year old woman trying (with an increasing rate of impossibility) to make her next show on time, and he was her fifteen year old son, blonde hair long, skin pale against his black t-shirt and dark jeans requesting a major housing change at eight-oh-five at night. Welcome to Boston.

"Zack," she said as calmly as she could manage. "I have told you and your brother a million times, we _don't have the space_, okay? I'm already on the fold out as it is,"

He scowled and glared at her, blue eyes glinting. "Then I'm moving to Patrick's."

His mother sighed and screwed the cap of her mascara back on, placing it neatly next to her toothpaste near the sink. "Can we talk about this later, please?"

"No, mom, look, I'm not, like, _sleeping_ in the same room as him, okay," Zack made a violent motion behind him and Carey didn't even have to ask to know that he was referring to his twin brother. "He's a _freak_, mom,"

"Zachary Martin," she scolded, closing her purse and forcing him backwards out of the small room. "Don't call your brother a freak. I'm late, we'll talk later."

Zack let out an angry groan. "_Screw you_," he said venomously.

She sighed and made her way to the door. "I'll be back around midnight," she said, looking at her son sternly. "You are not to leave the hotel, do you understand me? I don't want to hear fromMoseby or Codythat you went to Patrick's or the music store again," he rolled his eyes.

"I _won't_," he assured her in exasperation. "I'll justgo on the laptop, or watch TV or something."

"_Or_ you could do your homework." Carey turned the knob. "I don't want another email from your math teacher that you're failing Algebra again,"

"I'm not," Zack said defensively. He was.

"Call me if you need anything,"

"Yeah, yeah,"

The door closed as his mother left, and Zack turned immediately towards the couch. He quickly scanned the coffee table before nodding as he found what he was looking for. He grabbed his cell phone and flipped it open, dialing from memory.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three ri-

The door to his room opened noisely.

"-Hey, Zack, did mom leave?"

He jumped and quickly snapped the phone shut, spinning around to face his identical twin, trying to wipe the freaked expression off his face. "What?"

Cody raised a brow. "What?"

Zack shook his head and ran a hand through his bangs. "No, I mean yeah, yeah she already left."

Cody nodded. "Okay, cool," he grabbed a book off the table and plopped down on the couch, cracking it open. "You study for history yet?"

Zack let out s snort. "No," he said, laughing.

"Well that's smart considering you have a-what? A D-?"

"-A D, actually,"

Cody chuckled in a way that made Zack's temper bristle. "Smooth, man, you are planning on going to college, right? I don't want some _bum_ for a brother,"

Zack clenched his jaw. "Yeah?" he said, voice laced with resentment. "Well I don't want some _loser_ for a brother, but hey, you take what you get." He grabbed his cell and pocketed it (feeling the cool metal of his Zippo). "I'm leaving."

Cody looked up. "You can't leave the hotel," he said pointedly. "Mom-,"

"-I don't give a crap," Zack cut him off, shrugging on a black sweatshirt and picking up his guitar case (instrument safely inside). He left the suite, ignoring Cody's protests and rode the elevator down to the ground floor.

"Move," he said to a man lost in the day's headlines as he shoved past him. He was irritable, and no it was wonder; it had been eight hours since his last smoke. Patrick and the rest of his friends were waiting for him at the house and contrary to his reputation, Zack was never one to be late.

* * *

Cody watched the door close and sighed as he once more focused his attention on the Industrial Revolution. He figured that if his brother wanted to get grounded for the rest of his underage life then that was just fine for him.

He was halfway through the chapter when the phone rang, startling him from his concentration. Blinking a few times he reached for the phone and held it to his ear. "Hello?" he spoke into it.

"Cody? It's mom," Cody bit his lip. Bad news for Zack.

"Hey, mom," he said, trying to sound casual. Question: would he cover for his twin this time, or turn him in? He tended to switch between the two at random intervals, usually based on how many times he'd been called _loser_ or _freak_ or _geek_ that day. For a Friday, today hadn't been bad. Just that one little slip up fifteen minutes ago.

"Listen, honey, I'm going to be late tonight; the show's been delayed because of some seating confusion," Cody raised a brow. Well, maybe that was actually _good_ news for Zack. "I should be back around one. Don't wait up, okay?"

Cody nodded then remembered she couldn't see him. "Got it," he said, marking his spot in the textbook and flipping open his cell. "See you later," he said as she hung up. Securing the home phone back on its base he frowned as he noticed a picture of some band as the background instead of the plain blue he had selected. _Zack_. He rolled his blue eyes and was about to press the key to take him to his Contact List (figuring his brother had just switched it to piss him off) when a little envelope popped up on the screen alerting him to a new voicemail.

Cody stared at it unblinkingly. Huh. Zack must have taken the wrong phone with him when he left…He was probably reading all his, Cody's, text messages to Lauren. Cody blushed. Suddenly feeling a little angry, he clicked OK to listen to the voice mail. The machine went through the usual introduction before a beep sounded and a boy's voice spoke through the speakers.

"_Hey, Zack, it's Patrick. We're all gonna go to Joe's house tonight at eight thirty so if you want the weed you gotta come. His parent's are at some concert until midnight or whatever, so it's cool. Okay. Catch you then, man_."

Another beep resonated and the machine's electronic voice sounded again. Cody closed the phone numbly. He stared out into space, brow furrowed.

Damn.

_Damn_.

So that explained the coughing, the temper, the exhaustion, and the grades. That explained the rebellion, the attitude, the aggression.

That explained why Cody no longer felt like he knew his own brother.

Because he didn't. He didn't know that person named Zack at all.

He didn't know his own twin.

* * *

Zack tried to grin at the boy who opened the door to the house, but all he could concentrate on was what he knew he would find in the one of these rooms.

"Zack, man!"

He turned in relief when he saw Patrick hold a smoking cigarette in the air and made his way over. "Hey, man," he said, nodding at the others around.

"Been awhile for you?" Patrick asked, grinning from ear to ear, Zack chuckled slightly and nodded.

"Way too long," he said.

"Then here," Patrick held out a joint. "It's all your's."

Zack looked at it, feeling the familiar burst of hesitation curse through him. At first it had been almost terrorizing, but as his sophomore year progressed it had been reduced to a feeling of cold guilt he had taught himself to ignore. "Thanks," he mumbled, fumbling with his lighter as he took it and lit up.

He sighed in satisfaction as he took a long drag.

"So how's life?" Patrick asked him casually as they sank into a leather couch in what Zack took to be a living room.

He shrugged. "It's okay. My grades suck, my brother sucks, my mom sucks, and the weather sucks, but I got my guitar so it's all good," he finger the smooth texture of the case in comfort.

Patrick chuckled. "Sometimes I wonder what you're _really_ addicted to," he said in mock concentration. Zack's insides squirmed uncomfortably at the word _addiction_, and he averted his eyes downward. "This pot or that guitar,"

Zack shrugged, unable to come up with an answer.

* * *

Cody had thrown on a jacket before leaving the suite, but still the March air nipped at him coolly. He didn't notice, though, he was too intent on his destination to care. He had his driver's permit, but it wasn't a license and he didn't want to be caught driving without a legal adult so he had to walk to the house.

He knew where it was—Joe Calgin's family had enough money to make London (who had long since gone to "fashion school") look like middle class.

Cody couldn't believe.

Zack, his brother, his _twin_, smoking _weed_? As in _Marijuana_?

This wasn't going to sit well. With anyone, but especially not with Cody.

* * *

Zack was feeling very relaxed and chatting with Patrick and some girl named Amy (or was it Annie?) when suddenly someone gave a shout from another room. Zack looked up, his reactions slow and uncoordinated.

"What-?" Patrick slurred, cracking an eye open.

"FIRE!" Someone shouted, and suddenly the air was filled with the sounds of escaping feet and slamming doors.

Zack looked over at Patrick and Amy, who stood up slowly with him. "We should pro-ly go," he said, trying to sort out everything going on.

"Yeah…" Patrick agreed, planting a wet kiss on Amy's cheek. He led them out of the room and into the front hall where thick, dense, black smoke filled the air. Zack began to cough, clutching at his throat as it began to close, fireworks of fear exploding in the pit of his stomach.

_Damn that Asthma_!

And when he looked up again he couldn't seem to find Patrick or Amy or _anyone_ he recognized. The smoke made it hard to breathe, and he choked as he glanced around in disorientation.

He turned his head to his right when _BAM_ something hard hit him in the skull. He fell back onto the floor, his mind reeling with pain. His last conscious thought was that he didn't have his guitar, and then it all went black.

* * *

Cody saw the smoke a block away, and the seed of unease in his stomach began to sprout into full-on horror as frantic kids he knew from school began passing him on the sidewalk, panting and sweating.

"What happened?" He asked one he recognized from his science class.

"Fire, man," the kid said, voice thick. Cody could tell he wasn't totally there; his eyes were unfocused and his hands shook slightly. "Not a good idea to light the fake flowers, man, bad idea, man, bad idea."

"Wait-," Cody said before the boy could get away. "Where?"

"That one person's house, man,"

"That one person's—Joe Calgin's house?"

"Yeah, man, Joe-ster's house!"

Cody's eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat in terror. "Oh my God," he managed. "_ZACK_!"

He ran through the streets, trying desperately to find his twin brother in the crowds, but unable to locate him. He stopped random teens, drilling them for where he was, but none of them knew. None of them _cared_.

He spotted Patrick from a distance and sprinted over to him. "Where's Zack?" he demanded, ignoring the cigarette still smoking in the other boy's hand.

"He's right-," Patrick looked around and then stopped for a moment and paused to think. His expression of utter confusion would have been comic had it not been for the unfortunate circumstance Cody now found himself in. "-He was right there," Patrick finished unhelpfully.

"You lost him!" Cody cried, lashing out at the taller boy and pushing him away aggressively. Patrick reacted sluggishly, the drugs messing with his head, and by the time he had unleashed a chain of cuss words and insults Cody was running away in the opposite direction.

_DAMMIT_!

And as he rounded the last corner and saw the flames licking the dark sky as they destroyed the mansion, he pulled out his cell phone.

No one had remembered to dial 911.

* * *

**To Be Continued. **


	2. The Entering

Big thanks to those who reviewed! 8), glad you like it so far!

Disclaimer: I don't own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

* * *

Chapter Two

_And Others Just Watch

* * *

_

_**ONE YEAR PREVIOUSLY**_

"What d'you get?"

"I dunno."

"What? You didn't look? Lemme see!"

"No, Cody, stop-,"

"-Zack, come on, it's your report card you have to look-,"

"-Give it back."

"Fine."  
Zack yanked the paper from his brother and folded it before putting it in the front pocket of his jeans. Cody rolled his eyes and affectionately gave it another once-over, beaming when he reached his advanced math grade.

Perfect, of course.

They walked home even though the forecast called for rain and the clouds were dark and intrusive to the early May weather. The Boston traffic wasn't bad today, though the sidewalks were cluttered with foreign tourists.

"It's not like you failed anything…" Cody said and Zack figured he was trying to sound reassuring.

"Not technically." he agreed glumly.

"Did you get…any A's?" Cody questioned meekly. Zack kicked viciously at a soda can and Cody took that as a very direct no.

"Well..." Cody thought for a moment, apparently looking for means of sugar-coating his brother's situation. He fell silent, and Zack knew that there was no way.

"Mom's gonna kill me." He sniffed furiously and gripped his long blonde hair with shaking fists. So much for that new guitar…

"Not if you don't show her."

Zack looked at Cody strangely. "What? No. That won't work because you're showing her your's."

Cody shrugged, looking at his report card once more before looking up. "Well, I mean, I don't have to."

Zack side glanced at him. "You serious?"  
Cody shrugged again, looking hesitant. "I guess," he said.

Zack tried to stop himself from smirking, reminding himself that asking his

brother to do this would be, well, wrong. He opened his mouth, then closed it, unsure of what to say. "Thanks?"

Cody didn't answer.

Later that night Zack was strumming his guitar, trying out a new song he'd written while Cody chatted with Veronica on their laptop. Zack felt a little guilty because Cody hadn't gotten the recognition he'd deserved, but his relief was stronger.

"Sounds cool," Cody broke the stalemate between them, nodding at the instrument. A horn beeped outside the window.

"Thanks," Zack said. He stopped playing for a moment to tune up; the cords had begun to sound wrong, like they'd gone sour.

"You do the German homework?"

Zack snorted. "No,"

Cody shook his head and typed something quickly before sending it off. "Dude, like, if you want better grades, or whatever, you have to do some work, you know," he shrugged and looked over at his brother with identical eyes, though the innocence was still very much apparent; innocence Zack had lost a long time ago.

"Gee, really? I had no idea," Zack answered sarcastically, Cody looked down and Zack felt a little burst of guilt drain coldly through him. "And who says I want to do better, anyway?"

"You did," Cody answered, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "On the way home," he muffled a yawn. "You were gonna show mom, and you were all nervous."

Zack shook his head and played another tune. "Nah, man, see, I was nervous 'cuz I want that electric guitar for our birthday."

Cody shrugged and closed the laptop. "I think you care," he said simply.

And, laughing slightly, Zack put away his acoustic and lay his head.

Funny how his brother knew him better then he knew himself.

* * *

**PRESENT DAY**

Cody didn't allow himself the time to wait for the fire department. It was Boston at night and there was bound to be some traffic, especially with the rain they'd been having. He hadn't seen Zack come out, and he wasn't going to risk hoping his eyes had deceived him. And his brother had Asthma, too, it was possible…

No. No he wouldn't think about that. Not yet.

The fire seemed to have been birthed at the front of the house, so Cody (who could never seem to abandon logic and reason) slipped in the side door. The metal knob was hot and he grazed his forearm against it as he hurried past and cried out in pain. Inside the heat was immeasurably hot; the flames licked at his jeans and coat, and the smoke was so thick he couldn't see anything.

"ZACK!" he managed to choke out, going down on his hands and knees to crawl beneath the smoke. _Stop, drop, and roll_ ran through his head like a phantom anthem as visions of fireman-clowns filled his head.

He coughed violently, but didn't reach for his inhaler. No. That was for Zack. His blue eyes watered and stung, his ears pounding as a demonic roaring filled them, hands groping at the floor dependently.

He was about to turn back, to let the fire fighters take care of it. He would be no help to his brother dead, after all, when he had an idea. He reached into the pocket of the coat and closed his fingers around Zack's cell phone. _Maybe, just maybe_…He pressed one and clicked SEND, expecting to be the first on speedial.

"Zack, man!" a voice answered, and Cody pulled the phone away from his ear in surprise. "Dude! You got out of there! Can you believe that fire, man?"

"_Patrick_?" Cody exclaimed in utter shock and disgust.

"Uh, yeah, man, that's my name-,"

Cody disconnected, feeling oddly betrayed. Something crackled and fell to his right side. Someone's toy animal was on fire. He stared at it, mesmerized, before snapping back to the moment and clicking on the contact list. Selecting his name near the top he quickly pressed SEND and waited, listening hard.

After a moment he heard it; the metallic sound he had chosen for his ring. It was stupid and annoying, but at that moment it was the grandest sound he had ever heard and he crawled towards it eagerly.

Finally he felt something solid and he moved his hands upward to feel a face. His heart jumping in anticipation he pulled himself up closer, relieved to see that the flames were dancing quite a distance away from them. He wiped the soot out of his eyes and the hair out of his face to get a better look, and sure enough he was looking into the face of his identical twin.

"Za-," he started before he began to cough again. Clearing his throat roughly he brought Zack into his lap, tapping his face to try and wake his brother. "Come on come on," he muttered to himself. With a jock of terror he realized Zack wasn't breathing and, fighting back tears, he felt for a heartbeat.

_Wait for it_…

There. Cody lifted his hand away in relief. Suddenly there was a crash somewhere behind him and a man's voice registered deeply over the fire.

"HELLO?" he bellowed. Cody snapped his head up.

"HERE!" he shouted as loud as he could, coughing violently. His heart was racing and the smoke he'd inhaled was making him feel dizzy.

"WHERE?"

Cody almost laughed before reminding himself that the situation was nowhere near funny. "HERE!" he screamed. "HERE! HERE! HERE!"

And then at last he saw the bright yellow of a uniform, sighed shallowly in relief as Zack was gently picked up.

"He's not-," Cody coughed. "-Breathing!"

"We'll take care of him," the firefighter said as another lifted Cody hastily. "It's going to be okay, son."

And Cody wished it was that simple.

* * *

To Be Continued.

Please review!


	3. Less of a Requiem

A/N: Glad you guys like it so far! Thanks so much for the reviews 8).

Disclaimer: I don't own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

* * *

Chapter Three

_Less of a Requiem

* * *

_

_**TEN MONTHS PREVIOUSLY**_

"I quit."

"What?"

"I quit, coach, I'm done."

"Hold on, Zack, are you sure-,"

"-Very sure, coach."

"You don't want to play basketball anymore?"  
"Right. I'm done."

"_Why_?"

Zack paused. _Well, sir, not only does our team suck but I'd rather be home writing songs and on stage singing them than shooting a little ball through a hoop._ "I'm busy with other things."

The coach looked at him closely and Zack felt a little offended. So he wanted to quit the sport he'd been playing since he was ten. Big deal.

"Other things?"

"Yeah," Zack said a little defensively. "Like guitar, and," he hesitated, groping for an excuse. Lucky for him he was a quick thinker. "And studying and stuff."

The coach nodded slowly. "If you're sure," he said.

"I'm sure," said Zack.

He left and walked home, where he spent three hours completely alone. On Tuesdays Cody had German Club meetings and his mother sang for the late lunch-eaters. On Tuesdays he took a side trip to Patrick's and met with the band and when they were done practicing he hung around a little and _relaxed_.

He loved Tuesdays.

* * *

_**PRESENT DAY**_

"Let's get a pulse ox over here and a BP!"

Cody felt fine, felt just _fine_ compared to Zack (whom he couldn't see because they'd driven him off in another ambulance) but of course no one would listen to him. They laid him down on one of the stretchers, placing a mask over his mouth and nose, taking his blood pressure and giving him and IV simultaneously.

"I'm fine!" he protested. "I was only in there a few minutes-,"

"-Let us do our job, kid, okay?" One of the paramedics said, removing his coat and blue t-shirt to check his heart rate.

"Arrhythmia?"

"No…No, we're good on the EKG. Any sign of chemical infraction?"

"No, the house was clear."

"Okay, we have minor smoke inhalation here but nothing serious. Radio in to Northern and tell them we're on our way."

"Trauma level?"

"Make it a low."

Cody had no idea what was going on; his eyes were bothering him and it felt like something was caught in his throat. He had a minor headache that was slowly becoming more bothersome, but he decided he would do better not to mention that.

And then someone said something he couldn't hear, and the world went black.

* * *

It was quiet.

Still.

Stale.

Cody frowned. Where was he? He opened his eyes a little, but shut them instantly as the light hit him full force.

"Cody, honey, it's okay, it's alright,"

He felt someone gently take his hand and slowly he allowed his eyes to adjust, his sight befalling on his mother who smiled tearfully. "Mom?" he whispered, finding his voice hoarse and quiet.

"Yeah, baby, how are you feeling?"  
He blinked a few times, swallowing (wincing at the grating he felt in his throat) before nodding slightly. "I'm fine," he assured her, giving a little smile. He sighed deeply before he remembered why he was there; why he felt a weight in his chest, in his heart. "Zack!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening as he looked to his mother. She turned away for a moment, and his heart skipped a beat. _No, no, please no_…When she turned back to him her eyes were full of tears.

"He's in a coma, Cody," she told him quietly and he stared back numbly.

"A coma?" he repeated. She nodded. "But he's not dead, right? He can wake up whenever, right? He'll wake up."

Carrey brushed a tear out of her eyes. "Of course he will, sweetie," she said, but she didn't sound sure and that made Cody feel angry. "When-when he was taken into the ambulance he wasn't breathing, he'd inhaled a lot of sm-smoke. They don't know how long for sure he went without oxygen, and it's possible," she hiccupped back a sob. "It's possible there may be some-,"

"-Brain damage," Cody finished for her in a whisper. He bit his lip and looked away. _No_… "I'm sorry, mom," he said, beginning to cry. He tried not to, but the full weight of the situation came crashing in and it became too much to handle in silent strength. _Drugs, smoke, fire, death, coma, breathe, Zack_… "I'm sorry I didn't get-get there s-sooner and I'm sorry…" he trailed off and she enveloped him in an embrace which he leaned into, crying into her shoulder.

He hadn't cried in forever…Not since Veronica had broken up with him. They were friends now but back when she had cheated…When she had cheated on him with Zack…He hadn't been good enough then, and he hadn't been good enough now…Something must be wrong with him…Zack knew it. Zack knew he was unfortunate to have him, Cody, for a twin. He knew it and that was why he'd turned to the pot…That was why he wasn't going to wake up…That was why…

Cody cried for a long time.

* * *

It was six AM, and school would start in an hour and thirty three minutes. His mother wouldn't let him go, and the doctors wanted to keep him just to make sure no lung infections would develop.

Cody didn't mind for once.

What was bothering him was that they wouldn't let him see Zack. Carrey went to sit with him from time to time but she told him that nothing had changed…Nothing was different…

"There's still brain activity and that can only be a good sign," the nurses told him when he desperately pleaded with them for answers.

"There are many different types and stages of comas. Would you like to see a pamphlet?" said his doctor when Cody had refused to go through a check-up without the knowledge he seeked. It was very unlike him to be this stubborn, but as no one was going to tell him unless he bombarded them with queries…

"I just want to see my brother," he said in frustration as people filed in and out.

His roommate was another thing.

From what Cody had gathered, his name was Sam and he was fifteen, as well. He mostly kept to himself, plugged into an iPod and reading books. He wore glasses that made him look a bit like Harry Potter, though his hair was a honey color and lay in messy curls.

"What happened to you?" he asked Cody around ten.

"A fire," Cody answered despondently, not feeling like chatting but not up to losing his sanity as everything answered to _there's no change, no change at all, sorry, Cody, no change_.

Sam made a noise that sounded like an impressed grunt. "Your brother…?"

"He's in a coma," Cody answered, swallowing thickly. "And nobody's telling me anything."

Silence for a few minutes.

"At least you don't have counselors all over you," Sam said lightly.

Cody side glanced at him. "_Yet_," he corrected. "You do?"

Sam laughed slightly, and Cody could tell it was more bitterness than humor. "Not anymore," he said. "But I did. I think I scared them all away."

"Why are you here?" Cody finally asked him, feeling curious.

Sam blew out his breath and folded his arms under the back of his head as he stared out at the ceiling. "I O.D.ed on drugs," he said.

"Oh," Cody answered quietly, feeling dread run cold through his veins. "You do…them?" he questioned lamely.

Sam shook his head. "Not anymore," he said, sounding almost proud. "I've wanted to quit for ages but, well, you know," Cody didn't, but listened anyway. "But my dad freaked out when he found out, though I'd died and all that, so I went to rehab about a month ago,"

"Why are you here, then?" Cody frowned slightly.

"Once an addict, always a recovering addict, right?" Sam laughed again and Cody bit his bottom lip. "But hey, man, I'm, like,working on it, and stuff," he added when he saw the other boy's reaction.

"My twin brother-," Cody paused. Should he? _It's for Zack's own good_. "I think-I dunno. I think he's got a problem with drugs,"

Sam looked at him calmly. "And you're freaked?" Cody nodded.

Sam shrugged. "You talk to him about it, or something?"

"No. I overheard a phone message on accident."

"Accident, right," Sam grinned. "You can't help him, though, man," Sam shrugged and Cody's heart sunk. He'd been hoping his roomate would have advice to give,reassurance to serve. "Unless he _wants_ the help,"

Cody opened his mouth to respond, but at that moment his mother burst into the room, looking frantic.

"Mom!" Cody felt his pulse quicken. "What? What is it?"

"Zack's waking up, they think, soon," she ran a hand through her hair and paced nervously.

"Can I go?" Cody begged, feeling desperate to see his brother. "Please, mom, you gotta let me see him! You _have to_!"

"The doctor says it's alright." she agreed, hurrying to his side and helping him out. He swayed for a moment, his vision going gray, but soon got control of bearings and, with her help, headed towards the door.

As Cody slipped out he could have sworn he saw Sam smile almost sadly.

But right now all he could think about was Zack.

* * *

**To Be Continued.**

* * *

Next you'll see some familier faces, so don't worry there.

Please review!


	4. When You Wake

**A/N:** Okay, familier faces coming NEXT chapter. Promise this time. And thanks so much for the reviews, they're all awesome. Glad you guys are enjoying this so far!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

* * *

Chapter Four

When You Wake

* * *

_**EIGHT MONTHS PREVIOUSLY**_

"I really think you should consider this, Zack,"

"Really? You think?"

"You have a lot of talent…You should take the opportunity."

"Is it expensive?"

"I'll give you the paperwork and you can look it over and get back to me,"

"Oh. It's a lot."

"It's _more_ than worth it…Artists that come out of that program turn into superstars in no time."

"I want to, yeah, but I don't think I can…"

"If it's a question of money, just get a job."

Zack thought about that for a moment. A job? "But I have school," he said, mulling it over.

Luke, his guitar instructor, studied him closely. "I had to work for the things I wanted, Zack; you could balance your time."

"I guess…" He looked at the information in his hands, how to get a one-way ticket out of Boston and into the world of music.

"Hey, you look that over, maybe show it to mom?" Luke shrugged and carefully set his electric guitar on its stand. "You'll be here on Monday, let me know then, okay?"

"Yeah," said Zack. He'd have an answer (_a solution_) by then. "Okay. Cool."

"Sweet, dude," Luke nodded and left Zack in the little room. "And kid," he paused to look back, grinning. "Nice job today, man,"

Zack packed up his guitar and followed his teacher out of the room, deep in thought. He didn't have time for a job, and he doubted he'd be allowed to go to the camp what with his grades and all that. His mother supported him and his music but she wasn't going to be able to pay thousands of dollars to send him to a camp.

This sucked.

When he got home Cody was in a bad mood studying for his _advanced_ math test, and in that class, _Zack_, nobody slacked off, they actually had to _work_ if he didn't mind letting him do that, so Zack called up Patrick.

"Zack, man!"

"You got two thousand dollars?"

"I got a quarter."

"I'll take that."

"It's Canadian."

Zack sighed dramatically and sunk lower into the couch. At the kitchen table Cody scowled, furiously erasing something. "Man, and it sounded so cool, too."

"What did?"

"Guitar camp."

"No basketball this year, Mr. Jockstrap?"

Zack rolled his eyes. "No, I frickin' quit the team, man, like, months ago."

"Aw," Patrick cooed in a baby voice. "Poor wittle Zacky can't pway anymore 'cuz his _mommy_ wants him to go to _Harvard_…"

"Shut up," Zack said, yawning widely.

"Maybe she'll yes, man, you never know,"

"Yeah," said Zack, though he doubted it very much. "Maybe, man,"

* * *

Zackwas waking up.

Carrey's held Cody's hand, though both mother and son were shaking, and in her other palm she gently comforted Zack who had begun to move a little. The heart rate monitor behind his head had started speeding up, and the brain activity meter began to go a little crazy. Crazy, Cody decided, was probably okay.

Probably.

Because there was still that chance that _Zack_ may not wake up. His brain had been deprived of oxygen for so long…Cody could only hope.

"His vitals are strong," the doctor said with a smile, looking over the charts. "And he's been breathing on his own all morning which is positive."

"He's going to be alright?" Carrey asked him, voice paper-thin.

The doctor placed his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "Physically, yes," he said evenly. "And mentally," he glanced at the machines and shrugged. "The charts look good; the prognosis is _very_ good… I see no reason why he shouldn't be fine."

Cody chewed on his bottom lip, staring at his feet.

"Thank you, Dr. Taylor," Carrey said tearfully, clearing her throat. "For everything. We-we appreciate it."

He nodded, smiling, and left them alone in the little room. Cody sighed and bobbed his knee up and down.

"He's just like his father," his mother said after a little while. Cody looked up at her, one brow raised. _What_?

"He-is?"

Carrey nodded, sniffing. "You can't _trust_ them for anything, you know, but," she cleared her throat and wiped a tear out of her left eye. "But you can't help loving them because they're good-good _people_ with good _hearts_ and I just wish," she began to cry and Cody awkwardly averted his gaze as he swung his legs underneath the plastic chair he was seated in. "I just wish he could love me,"

Cody frowned and looked up at her. "Zack or dad?"

Carrey laughed slightly, watery. "It's a little too late for your father," she said and Cody shook his head.

"Mom," he said. "Zack loves you,"

"I haven't been supporting him," she said as if he hadn't said anything. "Remember when he wanted to go to that camp? I should have let him go; he loves that guitar so much…"

Cody folded his arms over his chest and looked away. He hated that stupid instrument. What had it done for them? It made Zack leave the basketball team, made him find new friends, made him try weed, made him forget about his family…

There was a clock on one of the white walls and it ticked away the minutes incessantly. _Tick, tock, tick, tock, Zack, Zack, Zack Zack_…

"…mom…?"

Cody snapped his head up. His brother's eyes were open and he was wincing ever-so-slightly. Carrey hurried to his side and fussed over him, asking him how he felt, did anything hurt, what did he remember; telling him how much she loved him, how worried she had been.

Cody hung back, scuffing his shoe on the ground. He'd expected to feel relief, but an emotion quite different from joy was rapidly spreading throughout his veins.

He was angry.

* * *

His mother had left t give them some time alone.

Cody had sat back down on the little plastic chair in the corner and was staring at a little piece of paper he was folding and refolding. Zack was laying down, tired but not exhausted, confused but not brain dead, happy but not elated.

"So you really entered a burning building for me?"

Cody nodded without looking up. He hated how he was acting, but couldn't bring himself to smile, to say how scared he'd been, to express how he felt.

"Thanks, man, that was really cool," said Zack.

"I didn't do it to be _cool_," said Cody bitterly, narrowing his eyes. "I did 'cuz you were too much of an idiot to get out by yourself," _ouch_. Where had that come from? Cody inwardly winced at his words.

Zack looked hurt for a moment, and then his expression hardened. "I was knocked out," he said. "I would have made it out myself if that hadn't happened."

"You couldn't even tell where the door was, man!" Cody was on a roll now, the words poured off his tongue without his mind registering them first. Zack's eyes widened in surprise. "You were too high, probably. You know what that crap does to you? It _kills_ you!"

"_Don't_ lecture me," Zack spat out, eyes blazing. "You don't know anything-you don't-you don't get it, okay?"

Cody snorted. "Yeah, you know what, I _don't_ get it man, and I don't get you! We used to be brothers and like, best friends but now I can't even _look_ at you without you throwing a conniption fit; I don't know where you even _are_ half the time."

"You're still that twelve year old shy kid," Zack said accusingly, biting back a yawn. "_I've_ grown up, okay? I'm a frickin' _sophomore_. I'm old enough to do what-,"

"-Shut up," said Cody quietly, the angry energy he had fallen pray to deserting him. He massaged his temples and hugged his knees to his chest. "Just-shut up, man,"

* * *

Cody returned to his hospital room to pack his things. They would be leaving the next morning, and the doctor was currently telling Zack how to use an inhaler.

"How's your bro?" Sam asked him, snacking on an apple.

"He's awake." Cody answered dully. "We're going home tomorrow."

"Lucky you," Sam said, raising the fruit in cheers.

"Yeah," said Cody tonelessly. Nothing had changed. Almost dying hadn't done anything for Zack. Nothing.

"My dad came to see me," said Sam conversationally after they'd settled down later that night.

"Oh," said Cody. "That's cool."

"Not really, he's sending me away to live with my aunt and uncle in Florida." Sam sighed sadly. Cody looked over at his roommate.

"That sucks, man," he said sympathetically. "I'm sorry,"

Sam shrugged (or at least Cody thought he did, it was hard to tell in the dark). "Least I'm clean," he said.

And Cody faked a smile.

* * *

The next morning came too soon.

Both twins would go home.

Except, thought Cody, not really.

* * *

**To Be Continued**.

_Please review!_


	5. The Wrong Road

A/N: Familier faces...? Technically yes, but if you're going by the show...Not yet. I did more with their school in this chapter than I was expecting to, but as soon as we return out attention back to the Tipton, then we can all see the gang. Thanks SO much for the reviews, everyone! I'm glad you all are enjoying this, it's been my pleasure to write so far.

Disclaimer: I don't own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

_

* * *

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_No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back._

-Turkish Proverb

* * *

They had nothing to eat for dinner, so Carrey ordered pizza. Zack had always enjoyed the food but Cody had no appetite to eat it. Neither, it appeared, did Zack.

But they ate it anyway; quietly and without discussion.

"Neither of you have to go to school tomorrow if you don't want to," Carrey said finally when all three had been staring at half empty plates.

"I have a German quiz," said Cody dully.

"I'm sure your teacher will understand if you skipped," his mother responded reasonably. She had called into the boys' school and told them the news. Zack's cell phone had been ringing like crazy. At first Cody had felt happy that he had friends who cared enough to call, but then he remembered the phone mix-up and the world became depressing again.

"I should probably go," said Zack quietly. His voice was hoarse and he frequently would stop to cough, often for minutes at a time.

Cody stared at him in surprise. Zack volunteering to go to school? That _never_ happened. _He probably just wants all the attention he's gonna get_.

"I don't know, honey," said Carrey worriedly. "You've been coughing a lot-,"

"-I'm gonna have to go back eventually, mom, might as well go on a Friday, right?" He hadn't touched his pizza; all he had managed to get down was his water which had been refilled four times during the meal.

"I suppose," Carrey replied hesitantly. She looked to Cody who had been staring stoically at his napkin. "Cody, help your brother out if he needs it, alright? Tomorrow in school, I mean."  
Cody looked up at her. "I don't see him at all," he said.

"Maybe you could go a little out of your way-,"

"-Nah, mom, it's cool," Zack avoided looking at Cody altogether, trying to plaster his warm, confident, charming smile to his face to reassure his mother. "I got it, really," he added when she looked unconvinced.

They helped her put the dishes away and then both teens retired to their room, after enduring tight hugs and wet kisses from their emotionally overloaded mother. Zack climbed into his bed immediately, looking despondently at where his guitar had sat. It was currently ashes in the dust.

Cody took out the laptop and checked his e-mail. Two messages. He clicked on one and read it in a few seconds.

_hey cody! r u ok? i heard about the fire. is zack ok? when r u coming bk 2 school? let me kno. ttyl. _

_-tapeworm_

He smiled slightly. Well, at least someone had cared enough to inquire of his well being. He responded; yes, I'm okay, so is Zack. I'll be back in school tomorrow. See ya later. The other one was from Lauren, asking pretty much the same thing but with less typing mistakes.

Cody fell asleep soon after; content in the fact that he had two friends who cared and he hadn't had to talk to the brother he was slowly beginning to hate in over four hours.

* * *

Zack was oddly terrified to go to school.

Cody left him as soon as they got out of the car and Zack went a different way to his first hour class, instead of through the cafeteria (which was filled with tons of people) like he usually did.

His locker was filled with pictures of bands and guitars and with a sad sigh he gently removed his history book from the messy pile of textbooks. He didn't allow himself to look at the little collection of pipes and cigarettes he had buried beneath his winter coat.

Cody knew about the drugs. Zack didn't know how, exactly, but the fact that it wasn't a secret anymore scared him to death. He wasn't addicted, not yet, but he liked the feeling of escaping…Besides, he played better after pot. Period.

He couldn't live without his music. No way. It _was_ his life. What had been filled with pranks and laughs and family was now lying empty, exposed; holes he could only fill by creating songs and writing melodies.

"Zack, man!"

Zack cringed and slowly closed the locker door. "Patrick," he greeted the other boy, wearing a fake smile.

Patrick grinned widely, dark brown hair long and unruly. "Can you believe that fire, man?" he shook his head, looking and sounding thrilled. "The guy's in so much trouble. Not about the weed, no," he added as an afterthought when Zack turned on him in alarm. "The fire burned all of it."

"You left me there, man," Zack said, his tone hurt. "Just, like, in the middle of the house. You didn't call the fire department or anything,"

Patrick scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Yeah, dude, but like, I was stoned, man, you know? I was totally out of it."

"Yeah," answered Zack lowly. They reached the American History classroom and took their seats in the back of the room. "Whatever," he was soon swarmed with his friends, all leaning in eagerly.

"Yo, Zack,"

"Zack! Dude!"

"Look who's back from the dead!"

"Zack, I had no idea you were some pyromaniac, man!"

"Zack attack in da _house_!"

He sunk lower in his chair, trying to block out the voices…All the voices…He gripped his pencil tightly, opening the textbook to the chapter on WWII…Nazis…Pot…Hitler…Pearl Harbor…Let's get high…Escape…Hide…Hidden…Hide from them…Escape…Run from them, Zack…Get away from them…

His breath grew quicker, and suddenly it was harder to take in breaths. He gulped, trying hard to cough. The room was shrinking…The walls coming closer…Closer…Closer…

"Mr. Dillon!" he cried out, eyes panicked.

The teacher turned to him in surprise, walking closer in concern. The boys surrounding the teenager slowly edged away. "Zack?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

"No, no, I'm n-I need to go-to go-can I go to the-bathroom, please?" Zack was stuttering and he knew it, but he couldn't help it because suddenly everything was hot and fuzzy and it was hard to breath and his head was throbbing…

"Yes," the teacher said, frowning in worry. "Do you need help?"  
"N-no," said Zack, breathing hard. "No, I'm good, I'm-I'm good."

Mr. Dillon nodded and Zack fled the classroom, ignoring the baffled look Patrick threw his way and dashing out into the hallway. When the door had closed behind him he ran down a few halls blindly, finally falling back against a set of lockers and sinking slowly to the floor.

He tried to tell himself to take deep breaths, to calm down, but his body would not listen. Zack reached into the pocket of his black sweatshirt and pulled out his new inhaler, holding it with shaking fingers to his mouth and inhaling deeply.

In a few seconds the anguish in his throat had subsided and he laid his head back in relief and exhaustion. Why the hell was he so psycho all of a sudden? Why couldn't he talk back to his friends? Why couldn't he take the noise? Why!

Zack felt a burning behind his eyes and he shut them tightly. Oh, hell _no_ was he going to cry in the middle of the hallway at his own high school. Heck _no_.

But it was inevitable, and it was all he could do to make it to a bathroom and collapse against one of the walls. He covered his face with his hands and sobbed. Crying for the drugs he wanted so bad, the guitar he had lost, the music he had loved, the friends he couldn't stand, the fire that had almost killed him, the breaths he couldn't seem to take, the family that would hate him soon.

He'd done it. He'd screwed up his life. They'd always said he'd end up in jail and now he'd proven them right. Except, contrary to expectations, Cody wouldn't be paying his bail. Cody had paid enough. He'd covered for him numerous times, lying to their mother; something Cody (no, never Cody) would ever do.

Unless his big brother, unless _Zack_ was telling him to.

"No…" he moaned, the sobs coming harder as he felt what was left of his strength drain.

The door opened but Zack couldn't bring himself to duck into a stall. He hid behind his hands and sniffed. _Great_.

"Zack?"

He looked up.

It was Cody.

Zack shook his head slowly, feeling fresh tears slip down his cheeks, shoulders beginning to shake again.

"Oh my God, Zack," Cody walked towards him quickly, kneeling beside his brother in concern. "Are you okay?"  
Zack didn't answer, just kept sobbing into his hands. Cody put his hands on his twin's shoulders and made him look up. Their identical blue eyes met and Cody looked at the other boy in confusion.

"What-what happened, man?"

Zack looked away. "Nothing," he whispered. Then: "I'm sorry,"

Cody raised a brow. "I know you are," he said.

Zack swallowed thickly. "I don't want to be-be like th-this but I can't be anything else."

"What are you talking about, Zack?" Cody shook his head. "You can be anyone you want to be. I mean, forget that crap, man, you're a great musician without it,"

Zack looked down, eyes welling up with tears again. "No," he said softly. "It's not just the p-pot,"

"What?" Cody frowned deeper.

Zack's breath hitched in his throat. "There's more drugs," he said, voice small. "Not just weed. P-Patrick has this friend and he told me he'd pay me if I d-did some things f-for him," Zack took a quavering breath and hugged his knees tighter to his chest. "At f-first it was just g-giving him bags from-from a guy in an alley way but then I got-got bored and I w-wanted to try it s-so I tried it,"

Cody was slowly shaking his head. It hurt Zack to see his brother's reaction but he kept at it. He _needed_ to say it.

"And then I tr-tried it again and again and _again_ and," he paused to choke back a sob. "And now I can't _stop_," he raised a shaking hand to his hair and brushed his long bangs out his eyes.

Cody looked at him, anger burning in his usually compassionate and cheerful eyes. "How long?" he asked bitterly.

"Four months," said Zack in a whisper.

"I don't know you," said Cody, rising slowly and backing towards the door. "You're-you're not my brother." Zack looked at him desperately, tears running down his cheeks.

"Cody-," he started, voice higher than usual.

"No," said the other boy. "No, you-," he stopped to look at Zack in disgust. "I don't even know you."

And he slammed the door on his way out.

* * *

**To Be Continued.

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	6. Hand of Help

**A/N**: **Please read the note at the end of the chapter**! It's very important! Thanks again for the reviewers, they make my days that much better!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

* * *

_There is a destiny that makes us brothers: None goes his way alone: All that we send into the lives of others Comes back onto our own._ –Edwin Markham

* * *

Zack called home sick.

When asked what was hurting him he told the secretary that he was having trouble breathing and his head was killing him. She wasn't sympathetic, but he was able to use his cell phone to call his mother who answered immediately.

She picked him up quickly and he followed her wearily to her car, head down and shoulders slumped. The despair that had filled him earlier was gone, as was the shock at his brother's refusal to help, and the panic of being back in a life he didn't want to live. Now all he felt was emptiness. Like a great hole it filled him, consuming all recognizable thought into a crevice too vast for mankind's comprehension.

He walked as though in a fog, as if he was caught in some treading nightmare that followed him, haunted him even in his waking hours.

He rested his head against the cool glass of the window and closed his eyes as the slow rhythm of the car took him away from the school.

"It was too soon," his mother was saying, glancing at him every few seconds in a guilty worry. "You should have stayed home a few days."

She was right but he lacked the energy and the willpower to agree.

* * *

Cody couldn't concentrate on his science work. Anger was boiling inside him and it clouded his thoughts as he tried to write coherent answers down.

He had never hated his brother before, but now the emotion pricked at his senses and narrowed his eyes.

"Mr. Martin!"

Cody snapped his head up, releasing the white-knuckled grip on his pencil. The teacher was staring at him, her expression faintly annoyed. "Yeah?" he asked her, aware that the class was staring at him.

"You have a message," she waved a yellow slip of paper in the air and he slid out of his seat and walked over to her, taking it and murmuring his thanks. "Back to Newton's third law…"

Cody knew Newton's third law by heart, choosing to focus on the slip of paper in front of him. A fresh wave of fury swept through him as he read the print. So Zack had gone home sick, huh? No doubt too _emotionally shook up _to continue the day? Cody rolled his eyes.

Well, he figured, that's what he got for being related to a junkie.

* * *

School had ended forty five minutes ago and Cody could have been home and eating a snack (well into his four pages of math homework) but he was taking his time. After twenty minutes of mindless wandering he figured his mother didn't deserve more worrying so he grudgingly entered the Tipton's lobby. It wasn't busy for a Friday, nobody seemed to be busy.

The candy counter was clear, too, except for Maddie. She was-what? Eighteen now? He knew she'd gotten accepted to college and knew how inwardly disappointed Zack had been when he'd found out it wasn't Harvard or MIT. They'd grown up, but he'd still harbored feelings for their old friend.

Cody could really go for a candy bar…

He approached the counter cautiously, unsure of how much the hotel employees knew about the fire. Of course, London was in town and she'd know all she wanted to.

"Hey, Cody!" Maddie greeted him.

"Hey," he said, trying to smile past the anger still bubbling in his stomach. "Can I get a candy bar, please?"  
Maddie seemed to ignore his question, choosing instead to study him in concern. "I heard about the fire," she said quietly and he looked away, blowing out his breath. "Are you and Zack okay?"  
"We're fine, thanks," said Cody rather coolly. "Can I please ha-,"

"-I saw Zack earlier and he didn't look like he was feeling good-,"

"-Look, Maddie, I have a lot of homework so if you could _please_ just get me a candy bar."

She looked a little offended by his impatient tone, but reached underneath the counter and gave him a Mars Bar silently. He reached into his pocket for a few quarters but she shook her head. "No, take it," she said.

"What? No, it's seventy five cents-,"

"-Just take it, Cody," Maddie looked at him sympathetically and he sighed and took the candy bar, feeling awkward.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Tell Carrey I can baby-sit anytime,"

Cody frowned at her. "We're almost sixteen, Maddie,"

She shrugged, smiling a little. "Yeah, I know. Old time's sake, I guess,"

"I'll see you later," he said, half grinning. She waved and he pressed the button on the elevator, making way for an elderly woman before boarding. When it reached the floor the suite was on he walked out and took out his room key.

Cody walked through and looked around, looking for his mother but unable to see her anywhere.

"We ran out of Tylenol,"

Cody looked sharply to his left and saw Zack lounging on the couch, face pale and eyes red-rimmed. Cody nodded jerkily before dropping his backpack to the ground and walking over to the refrigerator for a pop.

"I know you hate me," said Zack, and his voice was flat and dead-sounding. Cody made no answer.

"And I'm sorry, okay, I know I'm a screw-up and a crappy brother," Zack continued. Cody flipped the top of the beverage and took a sip. "I should have died in the fire," said Zack after a few moments. "I deserve to."

Cody felt a very different emotion well up inside of him, a stark contrast to the furious anger he'd felt before. And suddenly all that he could think about was his twin brother lying on the couch, how he wanted to die, how hopeless he was.

And how half of it was Cody's fault.

"Stop it, Zack," he said, setting down the drink and leaning against the counter. "You don't deserve to die."

"I almost got myself addicted to crack, I smoked pot behind your back, I lied to mom every night, I call you freak and loser and treat you like crap, my grades suck, my friends suck, I have six girlfriends; none of which have lasted more than a month, and I've driven four times alone even though we don't get our licenses until July." Zack sighed brokenly and Cody swallowed thickly. "I should just-," he stopped and looked away.

Cody frowned deeply. "Just what, Zack?" he started forward, grabbing the remote and switching off the muted TV. "Just _what_?"  
"Never mind," said Zack quickly, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

"Look, Zack," Cody opened his mouth, and then closed it before opening it again. "I know I freaked out on you in the bathroom at school today, but," he sighed. "But I don't want you to die. I don't want you to go away. I just want my brother back." Zack opened his eyes and with a look akin to disbelieving hope he widened them ever so slightly.

"But you said-,"

"-I know what I said," Cody answered, recognizing the feeling in his stomach to be guilt as it churned uneasily. "But Zack, look, you'll always be my brother, okay? And like, if you need help, I'll try to-to help you out, or whatever."

"I don't want anymore drugs," said Zack, shivering violently and drawing up his knees under his chin.

"Okay," said Cody, almost smiling. "Then you won't do anymore."

"It's not that simple-,"

"-No, but I promise you, Zack, I'm going to help you, or I'll find someone who can. You're gonna get past all this crap, okay? It's gonna be okay."

"What about mom…?" Zack asked hesitantly, fear clouding his face even though Cody could see newfound hope in his twin's eyes

"We'll tell her eventually," Cody answered, knowing things were about to get very crazy but that it was his duty as a brother to try and sort them out.

"I'm sorry," said Zack again, sounding tired.

"I know you are," Cody answered. "I'm sorry, too,"

The moment was the warmest they had shared in years and both brothers felt a sense of completion, as though the shadows were finally departing and the sun was just starting to peek out. Promises of light.

And then Zack's cell phone rang.

He paled and Cody reached for it hesitantly. When Zack made no sign of wanting it the younger twin snapped it open and held it to his ear.

"Hello?"

There were sounds of traffic on the other end. Cars honked and sped by loudly. "Zack!" Came a voice, and it sounded alarmed and panicked. Cody frowned slightly; the voice sounded oddly familiar. "Zack you gotta help me, man. I need that stuff. I need it now. I'm…I don't know, but I _need it, man_!"

Cody looked behind him at Zack who mouth was open slightly. "Um," he said, unsure of what exactly he was dealing with.

"PLEASE!" the voice shouted in desperation, and Cody suddenly remembered where he'd heard the voice before.

He held the phone closer to his ear and spoke in disbelief. "_Sam_?"

* * *

**A/N**: So there you go, Cody coming to his senses, right? Angry!Cody, Guilty!Cody, Sad!Cody...Moving right along.

I have bad news...I'm going on vacation. So, that means for you guys, myloyal readers, there won't be an update until next THURSDAY. I apologize for this and I feel bad that I can't repay you for your reviews, but I won't have internet access where I'm going so there's nothing to be said for it. I am, however, including a "promo", if you will, of what's coming up, just to try to keep you wondering. Sorry again, and I'lltalk toyou all next week.

* * *

**Coming up on _Four Minutes:_**

_As Cody transcends further into his brother's life of drugs he realizes secrets he never expected to encounter, stories he never knew he would be told, and truths that will shatter the life he has been living. _

_Zack makes the choice to break free of his addictions some will find his descision to be impossible to accept, and it will threaten the lives of those he loves the most. _

_Someone one of the twins never expected to see again is back in full force, living a life of dependance he cannot seem to break away from._

_Bonds will be tested, lies will be told, secrets will be revealed, and through it all brotherhood will come closer toreaching it's limits._

_

* * *

_

**To Be Continued.**


	7. The Light Side

**A/N**: I'm back early! Hope you all enjoy this chapter, and thanks as always to those who reviewed!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

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_Forget, regret, or life is yours to miss._

-Jonathon Larson

* * *

"_Sam_?" Cody spoke in disbelief into the cell phone.

"PLEASE, ZACK!" the teen cried out, desperation choking his voice.

"You told me you-you were clean," Cody frowned, ignoring Zack's sudden retreat deeper into the couch. "At the hospital…?"

Ragged breathing was heard on the other end. "Is this Zack?"

"It's Cody," said Cody.

Sam swore loudly. "Can I-can I t-talk to Zack?"

"Sam, where are you?" Cody decided to take a rational and logical approach to his new problem. Obviously something was wrong, and if his twin was a part of it, then it was Cody's job to smooth things out, if not fix them completely.

"Why!"The word waswas shouted, dripping with suspicious venom.

"We can help you," Cody answered calmly. "We can work things ou-,"

"-NOBODY CAN!" Sam shouted brokenly. "I NEED IT!"

Cody looked behind himself at Zack, who was wincing and clutching the remote with a white-knuckled grip. He held the phone out, nodding significantly. Zack looked strangely at the offered cell, and frowned at his brother.

"What?" he whispered in confusion.

"Talk to him," Cody mouthed. "He wants something from you,"

Zack paled and tried to take a deep breath, but it came out like a long wheeze as he took the phone. "Sam?"

"ZACK!" Cody could hear the voice resonate out of the tiny speakers as he rubbed his temples. "Zack you gotta help me, man, I n-need that stuff! I need it and I can't get it and you can and I NEED IT, MAN!"

Zack bit his bottom lip and when he spoke his voice was quiet and hesitant. "I can't, man," he said, turning away from Cody. "I'm not-I don't do that stuff anymore."

Cody looked at his twin's back and narrowed his eyes slightly, deep in thought. This may prove more complicated then he had originally thought…

"No, Sam," Zack answered a voice Cody couldn't hear. "No, okay? NO. I'm DONE. I'm not getting it for you." His voice raised a little, an angry tinge creeping into it. "LOOK, man, it's YOUR fault, okay? Don't drag me into this!"

Cody walked over, hands deep in his pockets. He looked Zack in the eye, silently telling him to end the conversation because it was going nowhere fast.

Zack obliged. "If you need help getting home call me, okay, man? But if you want the drugs you're on your own."

He hung up.

* * *

Cody was in the other room talking with their mom and Zack was sprawled out on the couch, trying to taste the peanut butter sandwich in his mouth and focus on the sitcom on the television screen.

He had the distinct impression that they didn't want him in there with them, so he gave them their privacy and tried to zone out.

But he was nervous.

Nervous that his mother would find out about the drugs. Nervous that Sam would get himself killed. Nervous that his life was officially screwed.

The door slowly creaked open and he turned his head in the direction. His mother walked out, a faint smile haunting the corners of her lips. Her blue eyes sparkled slightly as she walked past her son, Cody on her heels. He was grinning a little as he plopped down on the edge of the couch.

"We're going out," he announced and Zack blinked.

"Dude," he said, shaking his head. "I know you want to date, but I really don't think I'm the one for you, man-,"

"-Shut up," Cody said, but he grinned wider. Zack laughed a little, surprised that he had enough humor left in him to joke and feeling oddly heartened. "No, out as in you, me, and mom going to get dinner."

Zack raised a brow and looked over at their mother who was getting her purse around. "Seriously?"

"Mmmhmm," she said happily, walking over and nodding towards the door. "Ready to go?"

He reached a hand up to his long bangs and brushed them out of his eyes. "Um," he glanced at Cody who was looking a little too eager for dinner. "Yeah?"

He must have hesitated too long for his mother's liking because she frowned slightly and examined him closely. "Are you feeling alright, Zack? We can stay here if you're not up to it-,"

"-No, no, it's cool, I'm ready," he got up slowly, coughing a little and shrugging his shoulders until his black sweatshirt fell into place.

"Where we going?" said Cody as they rode the elevator down to the lobby.

Carrey shrugged. "Wherever Zack wants to go," she said.

They looked at him and he grinned slightly. "Applebee's!"

* * *

Because they needed fifty hours of driving before they could get their driver's licenses, Cody drove the little car down the streets of Boston. Instead of taking the exit they would have normally taken to get to the restaurant of choice he kept going straight, making a left down a street Zack knew well, but not because of its dinners.

"Where are we going?"

"Turn signal on, Cody," Carrey instructed her younger twin. "We're taking a different route," she answered Zack's question.

This didn't make sense to Zack, but he didn't question it, taking out his MP3 player and selecting his currant favorite song. He leaned his head against the window and shut his eyes; man, he was tired.

Ten minutes later Cody pulled into a parking lot (almost taking out a pigeon), but it wasn't the one in front of Applebee's. Zack sat up straighter and leaned forward in his seat. "Why are we here?" They were parked outside of the music store, which made no sense. His guitar lessons had been postponed until the next week due to the fire, and besides, he _had_ no guitar anymore.

"You'll see," said Carrey, opening her door and sliding out. Cody killed the engine and jumped onto the pavement, and Zack soon followed. The little family walked into the music store, and Luke looked up from the counter. He smiled significantly at Carrey and winked at Cody. Zack raised a brow as he trudged inside.

"Hey, Zacko!" Luke greeted warmly, setting down the electric instrument he'd been polishing and walking around to them. "How you doin', kid?"

Zack shrugged. "I'm good," he said.

Luke nodded, expression unchanging. "Well," he said. "Let's get to it, then."

Zack frowned slightly. "Get to what?"

Cody swung an arm around his twin brother's shoulders. "Surprise!" he said.

"I don't get it," Zack shook his head, smile slowly forming because deep down he thought that he actually did.

Luke laughed a little. "You need a new guitar, kid!" he said, gesturing around the store. "Go ahead and pick one out…Anyone you'd like," he made eye contact with the teenager who looked back in awe. Immediately Zack's gaze shifted to a little case in the back corner. It was his dream guitar; electric, black frame, a little drawing of a spark down by the strings…A real beauty.

"Any…?" Zack repeated softly, looking at his mother who had tears in her eyes. She was smiling and nodded as though it was the happiest thing she'd ever done.

"Go on, man," said Cody, following his brother's gaze.

Zack slowly walked towards the instrument, his heart beating a ferocious tune against his ribcage. Slowly he reached out to touch the headstock, fingers shaking. He grasped it and smiled.

The sadness that he had been laden with for the last few months had lessoned considerably and he swallowed the tears that threatened to come. He turned towards the others, laughing slightly, blue eyes glittering.

For the first time in years Zack felt something he'd long been without.

He felt…Complete.

* * *

There was a message waiting on Zack's cell phone back in the suite.

It was from Patrick.

He said a bunch of them wanted to forget about their troubles and were meeting in the park.

There would be plenty of IT, he said.

And if Zack was to, say, _chicken out_ and listen to that loser of a brother of his, well, then Patrick was going to make sure he never lived it down.

Literally.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

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_Please review!_


	8. Away With It

**A/N: **Thanks so much for everyone's reviews! You guys all rock.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

* * *

_Tempt not a desperate man. _

–William Shakespeare

* * *

Zack was glad that the next day was Saturday because there was no way that he was going to go to sleep when he could be playing his brand new guitar. It still hardly registered as possible in his mind, but with every cord he strummed it became more real in his scattered mind.

Cody, for once, didn't seem to be bothered by the late night music; if anything he was happy for the distraction.

"Check this out, man," said Zack after a few hours of hanging out in their room; Cody reading _Lord of the Flies_ and Zack having just written a new song in record time. He played the cords and nodded his head with the imaginary beat.

"Sweet, dude," said Cody, clapping a little.

Zack grinned and yawned widely. "I'm gonna write lyrics for it, too," he said and Cody looked up again. "About…You know…"

Cody nodded slowly and smiled. "That's great, Zack,"

"Yeah," said Zack.

When the twins went to bed that night neither of them remembered that Zack's cell phone was still sitting forgotten on the kitchen table.

* * *

Cody wasn't one for the mall (he didn't like a lot of people), so Zack found it a bit odd when his brother asked if he'd like to go see a movie.

"A movie?"

Cody shrugged. "Yeah. That new pirate one just came out."

"You boys should go," said Carrey, clearing their glasses of orange juice and empty plates that, five minutes ago, had held bacon and toast.

"Okay," said Zack, turning to go grab his favorite black sweatshirt.

"Zack," his mom called to him, speaking in her warning tone. "Your cell phone's sitting here,"

He grabbed it and hurried into the bedroom, flipping it open to turn it on when he realized that it already was and there was a voicemail waiting for him. He pressed the OKAY button to listen to it and his eyes widened as he recognized the voice. Sinking onto his bed he forgot about his sweatshirt long enough to hear it.

"_Zack, man! What was with that crap you pulled at school today, man? You turned into a frickin' idiot, dude. But, hey, I got just the thing to take your mind off whatever's bothering you. We're all meeting down at the park tomorrow around six. There'll be plenty of IT, so bring your lighter, man!_" a pause. And then: "_And if you chicken out and don't come 'cuz you're listening to your loser brother I will MAKE you regret it, you got it? You will NEVER live it down, man. For REAL_." A click. _If you'd like to save this message press nine, if you'd like to erase this message press seven._

Zack suddenly couldn't catch his breath and he choked on shallow air. He started to cough and found himself unable to stop, hands clutching his throat, gasping for the oxygen he couldn't seem to get…

"Zack?" It was Cody. Zack tried to call for help but couldn't get a word out. "Zack!" The door burst open and Cody rushed in, hurrying to his brother's side. "Calm down, man," he said soothingly, rubbing circles on his brother's back. "Where's-where's your inhaler?"

Zack shook his head, taking his shallow puffs of air, black dots appearing before his eyes. He didn't know.

"Mom!" Cody shouted and Carrey appeared at the doorway.

"Oh my God, Zack!" she reached into her purse and pulled out an extra inhaler, shaking it before kneeling in front of her son and holding it to his mouth. She pressed the little button and Zack did his best to take in a deep breath.

In a few moments Zack dissolved into more coughs, but he was able to take in air at last. He shook under Cody's hold and when at last he thought he had control he accepted his mother's comforting hug and sobbed into his shoulder.

No matter how bad he wanted free of them, the last four months were going to haunt him until they day he died unless he did something about it.

He had to go tonight.

Not for the pot or for the crack, to be done with it.

To end it before it ended him.

* * *

It was five forty five and Zack stood alone at the entrance to the Boston Common, shivering from both the evening's chill and the escalating terror waiting for its opportunity to explode in the pit of his stomach.

Cody and his mother thought he was going to get a new guitar pick at the music store and it hurt him to lie to them, but he didn't see another choice.

"Zack, man!" He winced as Patrick came up behind him and grinned in that maniac way of his, holding up a paper bag enticingly. Zack looked at it in disgust. "Ready to have some _fun_?"

"Yeah," Zack lied, accepting a joint and following the small crowd to a couple of park picnic tables. "I'll be right back," he said after a minute. "My hands are sticky from this candy I ate. I'm gonna go wash them off." Patrick nodded, intent on his lighter and Zack walked over to the little stream. With one last look back at the others, he took the weed he'd been offered and cast them away into the river.

With a deep breath of smoky air and a grin that lit up his face and buried his hands deep in his jean pockets and watched them float downstream.

"Hey!" called a voice. Zack spun on his heels and inhaled quickly.

"Did he-,"

"-He threw away the stuff!"

"What the HELL, man!"

They were slowly advancing on them and Zack's blue eyes darted to each of the shocked faces. "I'm done," he said with conviction. "With all of this." He began to backtrack fast, knowing that they were angry, knowing that he'd have to outrun them.

"Zack think about this," said Patrick, glaring. "You don't want to be done with _us_, man, we're your _friends_!"

"No, you're not," said Zack, shaking his head and sidestepping a tree root.

Patrick let out a humorless laugh. "And who else you gonna hang out at school, man? Huh? You wanna be some loser like your brother?"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT CODY LIKE THAT!" Zack shouted, anger pulsing through his veins. How _dare_ they!

He started to run, and heard them close behind him. If they caught him…

NO! He wouldn't think about that. He just needed to get into the downtown area of the city; there he could hide in the crowd. He was still pretty athletic from his days on the basketball team and had no problem making it to the busy part of Boston, ducking into an ally when he thought it was safe to do so.

After a few minutes of silence Zack sighed in relief and sank to the ground, taking out his cell phone. He was halfway through dialing Cody's number when he heard a rustling to his left. He slowly turned his head.

"You didn't help me."

Zack opened his mouth in surprise. "God, Sam," he said, furrowing his brow as he saw something glint in the other boy's pocket. "I didn't-,"

"-I needed your help and you _hung up_!"

"Sam," Zack edged away, eyes never leaving his former friend. "It's not like that, okay, I just-,"

And his eyes widened as he realized what he was seeing in Sam's pocket.

It was a gun.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

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**

_Please Review!_


	9. Shoot the Wind

**A/N:** Sorry about that cliffhanger! I had to, you know. Thanks as always for the reviews, they make my day!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

_

* * *

The oneness of human beings is the basic ethical thread that holds us together._

-Muhammad Yunis

* * *

**Six Months Previous**

"No, but I'm serious, man, why not?"

Zack looked at his friend with one brow raised. "'Cuz we got school, man,"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Heaven forbid we miss _that_!"

Zack laughed once and slurped up the rest of his slushie. "Nah, man, don't get me wrong or anything. I'd love to go and do whatever for the rest of our lives, but I have no money."

Sam sighed. "Yeah. Me neither."

The two teenagers nodded grimly and turned their attention back to the DVD they had been watching.

* * *

**Present Day**

Zack froze.

He could hear his blood pumping in his ears, could hear every beat of his heart and it was so loud he was surprised no one had come down to see what all the racket was about. The world was tinged a deep, ugly, merciless black and all he could see, like a great spotlight had suddenly emerged from the depths of the city and was shining only on what that stood before him.

A kid.

A boy no different from Zack or Cody or Patrick. A teenager who breathed and talked and laughed and cried and lived just as they did. A person with dreams and a past and a future no different from he who was now threatened by his very presence.

A human.

Except, thought Zack, he isn't like us anymore because of what he's become. Or, more importantly, what he had _let_ himself become. Because of what he now held, cocked and ready, pointed at the eyes of a former friend. Because of what he had given in to; succumbed to the wills of others like him.

And others not like him.

Zack was still on the ground and as he struggled to his feet he watched the gun follow him up, watched the eyes that shone silver in the dimming light, watched the fingers hover over a trigger too easily pulled…

Feeling the blood drain out of his face Zack fought to catch his breath. "Wha-what are you do-doing?"

Sam's eyes widened but he didn't move. "I needed your help," he said, voice shaking dangerously.

"I'm sorry!" Zack protested, shivering in fear. This was bad, this was bad, this was really,_ really_ bad!

"SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT!" Sam shouted and Zack inhaled sharply, holding his hands out in surrender.

"Okay, Sam, relax, man, just-just stop for a sec.," Zack swallowed thickly. _Be still my beating heart_… "Just th-think about this, okay?"

"Why should I think when YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT ME!" the other boy was distraught, at the edge of whatever sanity he had possessed.

Zack jumped in surprise at the sudden shout and tried to recover his bearings. "I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry!" The pitch of his voice raised an octave and suddenly the shock wore off and it dawned on him that he was _staring down the barrel of a gun_.

Lowering his hands and taking out his cell phone behind his back he flipped it open silently, eyes never leaving Sam's face, and felt around for the key that read the number TWO. Pressing it (and praying it was the right one) he pressed SEND and waited. All he had to do was count to fifteen and then he could end the call.

It was a system he and Cody had worked out. Know the other's number on speed dial and then wait until they answered, keeping absolutely quiet. Whoever twin was on the receiving end would know by his brother's silence that he was in trouble. Back when Arwin was still working at the Tipton he had made for each of them a little tracking device that easily worked with their matching phones and Zack had never felt so grateful.

Praying that Sam wouldn't hear Cody say hello Zack painstakingly counted to ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…

And now he just had to wait.

"What are you doing?" Sam demanded, eyes suddenly scoping out the unseeable task Zack had just completed.

"N-nothing," Zack answered, swallowing. He held out his hands face up, cell phone in his back pocket.

"LIAR!" Sam screamed, tightening his fingers on the trigger. Zack took a shaky breath and tried to smother a whimper.

He shook his head slowly, pleadingly. "Please, Sam," he whispered. "Don't do this, man, don't!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" Sam said impatiently, groaning in frustration. His eyes danced wildly as the moon rose higher in the sky. "Everyone's ALWAYS telling me what to do!" His voice turned to a mocking tone and Zack felt his horror creeping up as bile in his throat. "Don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't drink, don't talk back, don't stand up for your sister, don't be friends with them, don't be a faggot, don't let your ass get kicked, don't DO ANYTHING!"

Zack stared in shock. _Please, God_.

"Sam, are you gonna kill me?" he asked after a minute had passed in a tense silence. The pounding in his ears was slowly deafening him and he didn't think he'd ever been so scared.

No answer. Just a strange noise coming from the teenager. Zack furrowed his brow; it was too dark now to see what was going on and that terrified him. And then he identified what was happening.

Sam was crying.

Zack took in shaky breaths, running a quivering hand through his long blonde hair and squeezing his eyes shut. Because this was worse, _so much worse_.

And they stood there, facing each other, the gun still pointed and aimed, but it was forgotten for the time being. The holder of it sobbed, great, empty, grating cries that overlapped one another in a sorrowful crescendo. A defiant struggle in the face of oppression, a last defense in the face of an impossible enemy. The other stood as if frozen in a time he could not escape from, the blood running cold through his veins, shaking like a brittle leaf in a hurricane, suspended in a moment of bizarre calm.

There were no monsters in Boston. No Devil stood before him.

Just a kid. Just a boy. Just a friend.

It was the drugs, the crack, the weed, the driving forces that crushed whatever hopes had been born of nights that rang with incurable temptations that made them less human.

And had it not been for the gun that was ready to kill him, Zack thought that maybe, perhaps, he could end the torment he'd known little about.

He was about to say as such when a pounding of shoes rang like piercing echoes through the alleyway and a voice shouted out in fear.

"Zack!"

It was Cody.

At once the sobbing stopped and Zack grabbed his twin's upper arm, steering him to stand behind his brother. "Don't move," Zack murmured. "It's Sam. He's got a gun," Cody gasped and tried to push past Zack, who wouldn't allow it.

"Nice to see you again, Cody," Sam said, voice choked. "I helped you out in the hospital and I thought _you'd_ have helped _me_ out when _I_ needed it." He laughed humorlessly. "But no. You're no better than your junkie brother."

"Sam, come on," Cody's voice was small and Zack stepped more in front of him protectively. "Don't-,"

"STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!" Sam screamed and Zack winced.

"Okay, okay, man, we won't tell you what to do," Zack said soothingly. "Just calm down and we'll try to help you out,"

"It's too late," Sam said, tears overcoming him once again. Zack opened his mouth to disagree when suddenly the gun turned and a shot rang out.

"NO!" Zack screamed, scrambling forward as he saw Sam's body crumple to the ground in front of them. He fell to his knees and checked for a pulse, and finding none let out a howl of desperation.

Cody walked up behind him, crouching down and pulling his brother to his feet. "Zack," he whispered. "Come on, man, we-,"

"-No," Zack whimpered, starting to cry as he stared down at the body of his old friend. "No, no, no, no, no," he repeated the broken mantra. Sobs overtook him and he gasped as they came, hands gripping his hair and chest heaving in and out. Cody grabbed him into a tight embrace, wrapping arms around him in a fierce display of security and comfort.

"It's okay, Zack, it's okay," Cody murmured, holding his brother up as his legs weakly shook. "You're alright, I got you, man, I got you,"

"That could've been me," Zack sobbed, grabbing fistfuls of his twin's jacket. "That almost _was_ me!"

"No," Cody said firmly. "NO. You're not like him, okay? You're _different_!"

Zack cried for a long time.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

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**

**IMPORTANT** I have yet to decide how long I want this story to be SO I'm asking you guys for an opinion. If you'd like me to keep going and expand on the storyline more let me know, or if you think I should wrap this story up and move on to a new one tell me in a review or a PM or whatever suits your fancy. Updates will be delayed until this wednesday because I'm going on phase two of my vacation (my apologies) so you have lots of time to decide ;).

Thanks, and I hope you have enjoyed the story so far!

* * *

_Please Review_!


	10. Cry, Child, Cry

**A/N**: After the chapter.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

**_

* * *

Five Months Previously_**

"What would you boys like to eat?"

Zack and Cody exchanged looks. "Mac' and Cheese!" they said in sync.

Carrey smiled and shook her head slowly. "Why do I even ask?"  
"You never know, mom," Cody said grinning. "One of these days-,"

"-We pay want something different-,"

"-Like, say, _pizza_-,"

"-Or spaghetti-,"

"-But tonight we want Mac' and Cheese."

Carrey smiled again and set the three spoons on the table.

* * *

**Present Day**

Cody called 911.

The ambulances came but there was no one to revive and even though the paramedics tried the heart unwilling does not choose to beat. The police officer sat down with the twins, asked them questions, gave Zack a Kleenex, drove them home.

Mr. Moseby led the police and the boys up, though his expression was one of shock and he moved almost unwillingly. Carrey answered the door and all the color drained out of her face as Cody numbly told her what had happened.

Through it all Zack remained silent. His face was white and his blue eyes had lost their bright luster, a faded gray the only tribute left to the color that had been. There were tears shimmering in them but none of them fell, though he was shaking so hard the officer expressed concern that something was medically wrong.

It had been a suicide, and the policeman seemed to need no further explanation and with a tip of his hat he left the suite.

Left the little family alone.

Carrey wrapped her arms around her oldest son and rocked him slowly back and forth as he leaned his face into her shoulder. Cody sat back and chewed on his bottom lip, watching the scene.

"I didn't know he was going to-I didn't-I didn't-," Zack's voice hitched between sobs and he hiccupped miserably.

"Shhh, baby, I know, honey, I know you didn't know…" His mother held him tightly, whispering nonsense words into his blonde hair for comfort.

"He was-was going to shoot-," Zack inhaled sharply, voice quavering dangerously. "-Shoot C-Cody or m-me but he didn't and now he's dead."

"I know, baby, I know,"

"He's dead, mom," Zack pulled away and looked at her with wide eyes. His breathing was ragged and labored but he didn't seem to care enough to notice. "He's dead…" he backed away from his mother on the couch and slowly slid off, hands gripping objects for support as he slowly inched his way into his room.

"Zack-?" Cody started, half rising from his seat.

"It killed him," Zack whispered, eyes glazed over, giving him the look of a crazy man. "And now it's gonna k-kill me," the last few words were spoken beneath a soft sob and the shaken teenager turned and ran into his room, closing the door.

Carrey and Cody looked at it numbly for a few moments before the mother turned to her younger son with a sort of terrified confusion on her face.

"What does he mean?" she asked, voice shaking and tears glittering in her eyes. "What does he mean by that?"

Cody slowly inhaled and then blew out his breath. "I-," he started, then swallowed thickly and looked at his intertwined hands in his lap. "I don't think I'm the right one to tell you that, mom," his gaze was apologetic when he looked up.

"What have I done?" Carrey moaned softly, burying her face in her hands. "If I'd just _listened_ to him more than-,"

"-No, mom, don't," Cody made his way to her and wrapped her arms around his mother. "It's not your fault, okay? Zack's-," he paused, hesitating. "-He's made some mistakes and tonight he was fixing them, mom, he was _fixing them_."

"What mistakes?" Carrey looked up at the twin in alarm and Cody looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "What mistakes, Cody? _Tell me_!"

"No," Cody shook his head, undaunted. "Let-just let Zack tell you, mom, okay? I think-I think he needs to, you know? I just think he _needs to_."

Carrey sniffed, clutching her son to her chest. _What was going on with her boys_?

A few hours passed.

* * *

Zack was playing his new guitar. The music calmed him, soothed him. Opened the closet to check for invisible demons and rid the nighttime ghosts with flashlight beams of security and familiarity. He remembered he had a guitar lesson in a few days and that thought wrapped around his heart like a fleece blanket in a cold snowy cabin.

It was this thought, this knowledge that gave him the courage to finally open the door and walk outside.

His mother was in the kitchen making something that smelled like macaroni and cheese. His favorite. Cody sat reading in an armchair, brow creased in concentration, left hand curled around a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

The clock read eleven fifteen.

Zack took a deep breath.

"Mom," he croaked. "I have something to tell you."

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

A/N: Sheesh. So much _emotion_, yeah?

I'm very sorry I didn't get this up until today; I was hopelessly delayed. **THANKS SO MUCH for the reviews**! You all rock and as an FYI I'll be continuing this story for a few more chapters and, **thanks to some help from Suspension**, I'll be posting a sequel expanding on the storyline. Thanks a bunch to anyone who offered suggestions, I really appreciate your input!

Next chapter is a long one and will be out soon!

* * *

_Please review!_


	11. Only Never

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews! We've got about three chapters left and then stay tuned for the sequel!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_._

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_

_He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass._

-George Herbert

* * *

"Mom, I have to tell you something."

Cody looked up from the book he'd been reading. It was called _Lord of the Flies_ and it was slowly becoming the greatest book he'd ever read. A group of British school boys had crash-landed on an island and when their attempts at a civilized society began to fail they began to turn against each other. Now the character of Jack was going after the struggling leader Ralph and his wise friend Piggy, and Cody didn't see how a happy ending could ever come of it.

He didn't want Zack to be a Jack; didn't want anything—whether it be drugs or guns or weapons—to change him.

Folding back the upper right corner of the page he was on, Cody gently set it on the table beside him and drew his legs up so that he was sitting Indian-style on the love seat. His mother brought over three bowls from the cabinet and dished out the Macaroni and Cheese before handing two of them to her boys and keeping one herself as she sat down on the sofa, leaving plenty of space for Zack to follow.

The fifteen year old slowly meandered over, head down and shoulders bent down whether in guilt, trepidation, or exhaustion Cody didn't know.

He took the bowl and slowly stirred it around with his spoon. Cody took a bite, sucking the cheese off the noodles before swallowing them in old pleasure.

Zack seemed to stare past the food, and Cody noticed he was shaking.

"I m-I made a mis-a mistake, mom," he began, stuttering. Cody took another spoonful in sympathy. He felt guilty because he was so relieved right now that he was not in his twin brother's place.

"Tell me, Zack," Carrey said, looking at him, gaze stern. Cody wondered if she hadn't already guessed it. Moms were never as clueless as they led on to be.

"Remember-," Zack stopped, hesitating. He closed his eyes for a moment tightly before continuing. "Remember that guitar camp?" Carrey nodded. Zack sighed. "I really-really wanted to go, you know? More than anything. And when you said no, said that we didn't have enough money I got kind of…desperate?"

"Zack-," Carrey started, but stopped when her older son shook his head.

"No," he said. "I know. I understand and everything. I get it, really mom. But it's like Cody with his science and you with your job and dad with his friends-," he watched her make a slight face. "I _needed_ to go." He unconsciously drummed the spoon against the bowl. "So…I found this way to make money."

Cody stifled a yawn. Carrey narrowed her eyes slightly.

"My friends had been making extra cash by, like, selling this stuff for this guy in the city. They told me I could make hundreds just by taking one thing from one guy to another. So I did."

"Taking _what_?" Carrey asked.

Zack sighed. "Cocaine."

* * *

In the time his brother and his mother spent talking in the bedroom Cody had managed to nearly finish _Lord of the Flies_. A boulder had just put a very violent end to the character of Piggy, and Ralph (in between his mourning) was now fleeing from Jack. Far from finding it riveting and exciting, Cody was increasingly horrified with the events in the novel; disgusted with mankind's apparently ability to go completely insane and detach so easily from modern society.

Occasionally Cody would hear a raised voice or a muffled sob, but mostly he heard nothing. The silence was both deafening and maddening.

The clock on the wall ticked and tocked consistently. It rang in midnight almost at the exact moment Cody read the last paragraph in the book.

The ending really made no sense to him whatsoever, and having nothing better to do (though _needing_ something to keep him busy) he reread it.

Over, and over, and over again.

When at last he thought he'd reached some kind of rational understanding he realized that it was not a rational book and that science was not going to tell him what he had just read.

Logic, for the third time that week, had failed him.

* * *

Carrey left the room later that night as the clock ticked in at twelve forty three. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her mouth was a thin line and more wrinkles had appeared on her face.

Without looking at him she crossed to the small kitchen and took the phone off the hook. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Cody swallowed thickly and looked away. "I was being a good brother,"

Carrey shook her head and let out a small cry before taking the phone and leaving the suite. Cody heard her dialing a number.

Biting his lower lip he slid off the chair and walked over to the door to his room. Knocking but not getting an answer he opened the door.

Zack was sitting down on his bed, guitar in his lap, but no music resounding. He looked up at Cody and though his eyes were red, there was something different about them. Like something had been lifted and now at last something had appeared.

Happiness? Contentment? Relief?

"Hey," Cody said quietly, closing the door behind him and sitting down on his own bed.

"Hey," Zack said, voice soft.

"How'd it go?"

Zack shrugged. "Dunno," he looked down at his lap and Cody sensed there was more.

"What?"

Zack opened his mouth, than closed it, then sighed lowly. "Mom-she-she's going to send me to live with-with dad," he spoke it with an apologetic note and looked almost fearfully at Cody.

"Oh," Cody said, frowning as his heart skipped a beat. "W-when?"

Zack ran a hand through his hair. "As soon as possible," he strummed a few shaky cords. "Now that he's got a solid job he has a little house in Connecticut so, um, she thinks I-I should get away from-from people here,"

Cody sniffed and nodded, trying to smile. "'Kay," he said. "Yeah, man, is-is that what you want, then?"  
Zack blinked rapidly a few times. "I don't know what I want," he said. "I need to get away from my friends," he spoke the last word with his tone dripping in venom. "I need to get better-,"

"-But there's nothing wrong with you!" Cody exclaimed, tears springing to his blue eyes. "There's _nothing wrong_ with you!"

Zack was shaking his head. "I need to get away from Boston for a while," he said. And Cody turned away, wiping a furious hand across his face.

"H-how long?"

Zack inhaled deeply. "I dunno," he answered. "Maybe the-the rest of the year and then mom and dad will talk and-and…" he trailed off with a sigh.

Cody dug his hands into his the comforter on his bed and continued to shake his head. "No," he moaned. "You can't leave, Zack! You can work out whatever you need _here_!" Suddenly his tone turned angry. "What-is _mom_ not enough? Huh? You need _dad_? Yeah? That it? _I'm_ not enough?"

"Cody-," Zack began but his younger twin brother switched off the light, buried himself under the covers, and refused to say another word.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

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_Please review!_


	12. Once An Addict

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

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_The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice._

-George Eliot

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**TWO DAYS LATER**

"Do you have everything you need?"

"Yeah, mom, I got it all."

Carrey sighed and smoothed down her son's long blonde hair. Smiling sadly she held out a smaller suitcase than the two he already carried.

"For when you get there," she said quietly, watching as he took it carefully and didn't look inside.

"Thanks," he said quietly, readjusting the weight of his baggage. He blew out his breath and turned around slowly where a taxi stood waiting, door held open despite the rain that fell from the sky in torrents.

"Listen to your father," Carrey told him, eyes filling up with tears.

"I will, mom," he said and began to turn away.

"Zack-," she grasped his arm and looked him in his blue eyes. "This is your last chance," she looked down to collect herself, gulping back a sob. "Please," she looked at him pleadingly. "Don't let me down. Don't let _us_ down."

He nodded. "Bye," he said and ducking under the rain he hurried to the taxi, slinging his luggage inside and sliding in behind it. "I love you, mom!" he shouted to her as the door closed.

"Oh, Zack," she whispered as the taxi began to pull away from the curb. "I love you, too," and as it disappeared from sight she began to cry.

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ONE DAY PREVIOUS

"Wouldn't want to forget anything,"

Zack looked up from the clothes he was stuffing into his suitcase. Cody stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms folded over his chest.

"No," said Zack, looking down again. "I won't."

"Sure you will," Cody said smoothly, blowing a bubble with the gum he chewed erratically. "You always _do_, Zack." He laughed humorlessly. "It'll just be a matter of time."

"What're you talking about?" Zack frowned at his brother, closing his suitcase clumsily, fumbling for the latches.

Cody shrugged, moving away from the door and into the room. "For you to forget," he said. "Me, mom," Zack looked up, eyes glinting. "Yeah. You say for the rest of the year but that's only three months. Next thing we'll know is that you've decided to stay the summer and then, hey, poor little Zacky's not _better yet_, better give him another _year_ or-hey! How about _two_ more, huh?" Cody angrily spit out his gum into the garbage can and glared at his twin. "Let him finish high school in _Connecticut_. Let him skip out on college and spend his life forgetting that _somewhere_ he's got a brother and a mom he _forgot about_!"

"Shut up!" Zack shouted angrily, forgetting about packing and going at his brother furiously. "I'm NOT GOING TO FORGET ABOUT MOM!" He pushed Cody into his bed, watching as the younger twin hit his head on the backboard in surprise.

Wincing, Cody shot up and kicked at Zack who stumbled back. "Yes you will! You're an ASS HOLE and an IDIOT and a JUNKIE!"

"I'M NOT A JUNKIE!" Zack screamed barreling into the other boy and tackling him to the ground. They punched and slapped and scratched and fought at each other until a hand yanked open the door to their bedroom and their mother appeared in the doorway.

"BOYS!" she shouted, rushing in and getting in between the two of them. "BOYS, PLEASE!"

"You're such a LIAR!" Zack cried out, eyes glittering as he fell back against his bed, lower lip red and bleeding.

"YOU'RE A JERK!" Cody screamed, tears running down his face. He sported a cut on his cheeks and wiped a shaking hand over it angrily.

"That's enough!" Carrey declared, glaring at each of them in turn. "I would expect more mature behavior from a pair of FIFTEEN YEAR OLD boys!" she shook her head in disgust. "You are both going to be separated for what could be a very long time," as she spoke the last sentence her voice cracked a little. "Why don't you make the best of what time you both still have together?"

She sniffed and shook her head slowly, making her way out of the messy bedroom and gently closing the door behind her.

Cody looked at Zack who was bringing his fingers to his lip and back. "Why don't you just _go_, man? Just leave." He narrowed his eyes and blinked his tears away at his twin. "You're not my-my brother anymore."

And he turned and followed their mother out.

Zack watched him leave, making no move to try and stop him but feeling hot tears prickle the back of his eyes. He looked down and his hands, saw the shake, saw them curl into useless fists. He pressed them to the sides of his head and clenched his eyes shut to block out the world.

Sam was dead. Cody hated him. His mother didn't want him. His dad didn't know him. His friends had deserted him.

He began to shake with repressed sobs and turned away towards the one thing he had left. With quivering fingertips he reached for it, heart and soul aching, _hungering_ for what would come with it.

And as he slowly lifted the guitar out of it's holder and gently sat it on his lap and played a few cords.

And cringed at how sour they sounded to his ears.

Eyes wide and disbelieving he set the instrument down and picked up his cell phone. As part of his punishment he was banned from making any calls but he didn't to make this one. He dialed the number from memory.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

"Zack, man. I see you've come to your senses."

Zack took a deep, calming breath and tried to remember where he'd put his inhaler. The asthma had calmed down a bit, but it was still there like a tiger waiting to spring. Everything was. "Do you-do you still have-have it, man?"

"The pot?"

Zack closed his eyes briefly. "No." he said. "No, the-the other stuff."

A chuckle. "Yeah, man, I got the other stuff."

"When can I-can I-?"

"Anytime," said Patrick, sounding smug. "Anytime you want."

"Give me twenty minutes."

* * *

Cody drew his head back from the door as the beep of the cell phone killed the conversation and looked stoically at the wall as his brother slowly crept out of the room.

"I'm going out." Zack said for explanation.

Cody nodded. "Don't hurry back."

Zack swallowed thickly (lip now an ugly shade of plum) and walked out of the suite, disappearing as their mother had just minutes before.

Cody watched him go.

Rock bottem.

* * *

Zack made it to Patrick's garage in eighteen minutes, waiting patiently for the door to open. It did.

"Not clear here," Patrick said as he stepped out wearing a grin. "Let's go somewhere else."

They walked deep into the inner city, watching as dealers slipped small bags to people in parks and neighborhoods and on street corners every which way. They noticed more when they were searching. More than they knew.

Finally the two boys came to an alleyway and Patrick pulled out a small zip-lock bag. "Stress at home?" he asked as they sat down in mock concern.

"Stress everywhere," Zack answered, drawing the bag closer to him in a strange hesitation.

"The guys'll understand," Patrick assured him. "On Monday-,"

"-No," Zack interrupted. "No, I'm not coming back on Monday." At the look of surprise on his friend's face he sighed. "I'm going to live with my dad. In Connecticut."

"You told," Patrick's gaze was steely. "I swear, man, if you mentioned my name-,"

"-Chill," Zack said calmly. "I didn't." He lifted the bag and examined its white contents. Springing to his feet he looked down at Patrick. "This is for the road," he said. "And for when I get there."

Patrick jumped up, reaching for it. "You can't steal my stash, man," he protested. "I paid a lot for it-,"

"-Yeah?" Zack stared him down. "I'm still paying."

* * *

By the time he'd reached the suite twenty minutes later Zack had long since stuffed the drugs into his inside coat pocket for safekeeping. He stepped into the elevator (hearing his mother's voice—sounding fake—resonating from the reception room) and rode it up to their suite.

He opened the door and stepped inside, seeing no sign of Cody. Smiling a little in his apparent good fortune he walked across and opened the door to the room they had shared since they were children and walked inside.

There.

He drew up short. Cody was sitting on his bed, guitar in his lap and a strange look on his face.

"What're you-?" Zack started forward, wanting his guitar back.

"Drugs or the guitar."

"What?" Zack looked at his brother oddly, frowning deeply.

"Drugs or the guitar." Cody glared at him stonily. "Your choice."

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**To Be Continued**

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_Please review!_


	13. Never An Addict

**A/N**: This is very much a transition chapter. Meaning it's going to tie up a bunch of loose ends and be a nice little finishing point to draw us into the last chapter which is coming out **tomorrow** and then this story will be complete. The sequel will commence soon afterwards and whether or not you want to continue on and find out what's happening with the twins (crossing my fingers you do) is up to you. And now, onto the story...

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_.

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_I cannot love as I have loved, _

_And yet I know not why;_

_It is the one great woe of life _

_To feel all feeling die._

-Philip James Bailey

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"Drugs or the guitar."

Zack stared at him, an icy prickle of shame snaking down his spine. He fought to catch his breath and tried to calm his heart which had begun to beat a painful rap against his ribcage. "What?" he managed to force out.

"Drugs or the guitar." said Cody. "Your choice."

"What're you taking about?"

Cody was glaring at him, but there was sadness in that glare—a sort of confused grief that lay muffled in the layers of innocent blue. "I overheard you talking to Patrick," he said thickly. "I know you went to get drugs."

Zack found that he couldn't speak. Shock filled him with a great and looming dread and guilt and _hate_. "I haven't-," he started, and then swallowed loudly. "I haven't done any," he said. "I didn't actually-,"

"-Empty your pockets."

Zack froze. _Damn_ his brother for being so smart! _Damn_ him!

"Zack," said Cody loudly and authoritively. "_Empty your pockets_."

Zack slowly shook his head. "No," he said. "Why should I listen to you?" he clenched his jaw before continuing. "First you're on my side, then you leave me alone _crying_ in the bathroom at school, then you apologize and help me out 'cuz you felt _guilty_, and now you're back to hating me as soon as I make a decision for _myself_?"

Cody rubbed a hand over his eyes. "No, you know what, Zack? I just-," he stopped, narrowing his eyes as he apparently thought something over. "-I just want my brother back, okay? That's all." He set the guitar aside and slid off the bed, stopping to look Zack in the eye. "Do what you want to do," he said. "I don't care. You're leaving for Connecticut. You're not my problem. You're dad's."

And for the third time in the past three days, Cody slammed the door on his way out of the room. Leaving Zack alone. With the drugs. Alone.

* * *

Cody left the suite and went to wait in the lobby for Tapeworm to come over. They were going to go catch the latest Johnny Depp pirate film at the movie theatre and Cody was itching to just leave.

His stomach growled and he decided it would probably make sense to buy some candy here for less than what the theatre would charge. He got up and walked over to the candy counter.

"Cody, guess what!" Maddie said as soon as he walked up.

"What?" Cody played along as he scanned the rows of choices.

"I got accepted at Harvard!" she exclaimed joyfully and Cody looked up at her. "At law school! I got in!"

"That's great, Maddie!" said Cody sincerely. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks," she said, and tossed him the bag of candy he'd pointed out. "It's free," she said. "Share them with Zack. Tell him that he's still got a chance if he wants to marry me," she laughed and Cody forced one out.

"Except not really," he said and Maddie frowned in puzzlement. "He's moving to Connecticut with our dad."

"Connecticut?" Maddie repeated. "Why?"

Cody shrugged. "Personal stuff," he said.

"Is everything alright?" She asked in concern.

"Yeah," he lied. "Everything's cool."

Fifteen minutes later Tapeworm arrived and the two boys headed off for the movie theatre. Though they were less than impressed with their movie of choice they decided to eat a late lunch over at a little burger place.

"So," said Tapeworm conversationally. "No more Zack, huh?"

"Right," said Cody, equally as casual. He raised his chocolate milkshake: "And good riddance!"

Tapeworm raised a brow and shook his head in confusion. "Okay," he said. 'Whatever you say, man."

Cody took a long drink before saying anything more. "He gets along well with my dad—remember that time he ran away to go on 'tour' with him when we were, like, twelve?"

Tapeworm grinned. "Yeah, in school you were throwing a hissy-fit over it."

"No," Cody laughed. "My mom went all 'fun' and it scared the crap out of me!"

"Good times," said Tapeworm, chuckling. A few minutes passed in silence as the two friends concentrated on their cheeseburgers and fries. "So you-you really don't care that he's leaving, then?"  
"I did," Cody said slowly, chewing carefully on a french fry. "But he wants to go and like, I think he should. 'Cuz it's not my job to take care of him, you know?" Tapeworm nodded solemnly. "He's gotta learn to take care of _himself_."

"Alright, man," said Tapeworm neutrally. "But I mean, he _is_ your brother."

Cody took another bite of the burger.

* * *

When Carrey got home from finishing her lunch time show she entered the suite and heard rapid flushing of the toilet. Raising a brow in curiosity she knocked twice on the close door.

"Just a sec'!" One of the twins called out and she was almost positive that it was Zack. She waited a moment. The door opened and sure enough it was him. "Had to go," he said sheepishly.

"What's that thing you kids say online—TMI?" Carrey laughed and ushered him into the kitchen.

"Where's your brother?"

Zack seemed to tense a little bit, but when he spoke his voice was calm. "I have no idea," he said, shrugging.

Carrey went to the refrigerator. "What would you like for lunch?"

Zack shrugged. "Anything's cool."

And as she bustled around making peanut butter sandwiches and chicken noodle soup he sat down at the table. Life had taken sharp and dangerous curves but right now, at this moment, with the cocaine flushed down forever, it was easy for him to pretend that everything was just how it should be.

* * *

That evening when Carrey was trying to find a decent pizza place they hadn't already tried in Boston, Zack sat in his room playing his guitar and listening to the melodies that rang out of it. _Days and faces races places chases-of-of-_…He sighed. The song needed words. Lyrics. A meaning, a purpose.

Like he did.

The door opened and Cody walked in. "New song." He commented without looking up. He kicked off his sneakers and grabbed some book on the bedside table.

"Yup," Zack answered, continuing to play.

Moments passed in cords half completed and pages turned and folded. "Flushed it down the toilet." Zack said casually after a little while.

"Chose guitar?" Cody asked from behind the book.

"Yep."

"Good choice."

Zack nodded while checking his finger placement. "And Connecticut?"  
Cody didn't even hesitate. "If it's temporary."

"It is," Zack assured him, strumming aimlessly. "I just found out from Mom at lunch that Maddie's staying. Can't leave my sweet thang, now can I?"

Cody rolled his eyes. "Dude, grow up. She's not interested in you."

"Then why's she staying, huh?" Zack chuckled. "Obviously there's a little spark-," he played a dramatic cord. "Of something-," he strummed another one, staccato style. "Neither one of us can _deny_, man."

"Uh-huh," said Cody doubtfully. "Just keep telling yourself that, then."

A few more minutes passed.

"So," said Zack, sounding hesitant. "You're on my side, again?"

"Dude," said Cody, sounding exasperate as he looked at his twin over his book. "I was always on your side, man, I was just scared you were gonna go kill yourself."

Zack groaned. "You are seriously warped, Code."

"Look who's talking."

They laughed together and Zack played his new song in its entirety as Cody continued to read.

"So did the savages kill Ralph?" Zack asked his brother, referring to _Lord of the Flies_. He hadn't actually read the book (though he'd managed a C+ on the test).

"Nope," said Cody. "He was rescued."

"Just him or-,"

"-No, all of them were."

"Cool," Zack nodded, unsure why this made him feel happy. So corny. So _geeky_. Made him want to snort. He managed to refrain and instead focused his energy on trying to figure out why the heck his brother was acting like everything was normal.

He decided that it probably had something to do with the way he'd flushed away the cocaine (and had felt a weight lifted off his chest like when he'd thrown out the pot) and how he was making the attempt to be his old self again. Carefree, mischievous, funny. Or, something of the sort.

Growing up, he decided, was like that.

Changing.

Learning.

Finding yourself.

Zack smiled and returned his attention to his guitar.

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**To Be Continued**

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_Please Review!_


	14. Four Minutes

**A/N:** I apologize for the day delay! would not let me upload, even though I tried every five minutes it seemed like. Well. Here it is. The end of the road. It's been so much fun writing this and hearing from all of you. THANKS SO MUCH to all the reviewers. Without you this story would never have gotten past chapter four, so thanks a million. The sequel is due out in a few days so keep a lookout for that if you're interested, and if you want a summary just PM me whenever. So here you are, the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as Ienjoyed writing it. Which is a heck of a lot.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_._

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_No other road, no other way... no day but today._

-Jonathan Larson

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"Eleven o'clock?"

"Yeah."

"You…Nervous, or anything?"

"A little bit."

Cody nodded solemnly, biting his lower lip and clearing his throat awkwardly as he stood with his twin brother in their little room.

"I'll…email, you know, and-and call and stuff,"

Cody tried to smile, tried to make his voice seem carefree and light. "Yeah, I know you will. I will, too," it came out sounding fake and cheap.

"I might, like, come up during Spring Break,"

Cody looked up from his gaze on the carpet. "Really?"

Zack shrugged. "If everything's going good at dad's place, then maybe."

Cody sighed and nodded. "Yeah."

It was the worst kind of silence that had shrouded them all morning. The kind where you could hear your own heart beat a tattoo against your ribcage and where every noise is suddenly magnified to the loudest sound ever heard by human ears. A tense silence. A scared silence.

A silent silence.

"I gotta get to school pretty soon." Cody said quietly.

"Oh-you're-you're going, then," Zack looked surprised for a moment, but he tried quickly to cover it up. Tried to make like he didn't care.

"Well, yeah," Cody felt his cheeks reddening. "I have this-test in math…"

Zack smiled but he knew it looked as forced as it felt. "Yeah, advanced math. Wouldn't want to miss that."

"Right," Cody agreed slowly, hesitantly.

They stood again in silence, until Cody looked at the clock and saw that it read seven fifteen. School would start in a half hour.

"I should-go," he said softly, taking a shaky breath.

"Okay," Zack said, his voice thick with a false tone of confidence and acceptance, a poor mockery to his old carelessness. "I guess, then…" his voice faded away and he sniffed loudly.

"Yeah," said Cody. "Keep in touch, man, okay?"

Zack gave another fake grin. "Yeah, yeah, you, too."

"I will." Cody cleared his throat and swallowed thickly, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. He walked to the door and paused with his hand on the doorknob.

"Hey, Cody," Zack called out.

Cody turned around to look at him, feeling a burning in the back of his eyes.

Zack smiled a real smile this time, blue eyes bright. "Thanks,"

Cody returned the grin and nodded quickly, trying hard not to cry. "Yeah," he said, laughing a little even as a tear leaked out of the corners of his eyes. "No problem,"

"You really-really saved my life," Zack continued, unshed tears glittered in his eyes. "It meant-a lot, you know?"

Cody nodded again. "You're my brother, man; you'd have done the same thing for me."

Zack sighed and Cody turned the knob, stepping out into of the room. "Bye, Zack," he said quietly and closed the door gently behind him.

Zack watched it close, cryingsilently as he looked around the room. For once his bed was made and his things were neat. Well, what things he was leaving, that was. He would be taking most of it; the only things that remained were his old basketball trophies and textbooks. He told himself he'd be back someday. He _would_ be. When all this was safely behind him. He would come home.

Hearing the door to the suite close and the voices fade Zack sniffed and wiped away his tears. Sitting on his bed he pulled out his new guitar; black with that little spark, a real beauty. Perfect. But it would always remind him of the day he had gotten it, and the days that had come before. Of Luke and his mom.

Of Cody.

Telling himself not to cry anymore, Zack laid the guitar in his lap and began to play. He had all the lyrics he would ever need. He just had to write them.

And at that moment he played better than he'd ever played before.

* * *

"You okay?" Carrey asked her younger son as they rode the elevator down to the lobby. He hadn't said a word since saying goodbye to his brother and she could have sworn that she had seen him wipe his eyes earlier.

"Yeah, I'm good," he said, nodding. His voice was quiet, and she smoothed down his blonde hair in comfort. He was getting tall; almost as tall as she.

"He'll be back in a few months," she said gently.

"I know." Cody answered, his voice a little stronger.

The elevator reached the ground floor and they walked out together. Mother and son paused as the reached the sliding doors, prolonging the moment. "We'll do something tonight, just you and me," Carrey told him.

"Okay," Cody smiled slightly, sadly.

"Okay," Carrey hugged him tightly, and he did not resist. They released each other and he nodded more to himself than to his mother.

"Bye, mom," he said.

"Have a nice day," she said as he walked off down the street.

And as he met up with Tapeworm at his locker Cody tried to himself that it was for the best. That Zack needed this, needed to go away for a little while. He'd be back a few months. He would.

And Cody headed off towards his math class with Tapeworm.

* * *

"Do you have everything you need?"

"Yeah, mom, I got it all."

Carrey sighed and smoothed down her son's long blonde hair. Smiling sadly she held out a smaller suitcase than the two he already carried.

"For when you get there," she said quietly, watching as he took it carefully and didn't look inside.

"Thanks," he said quietly, readjusting the weight of his baggage. He blew out his breath and turned around slowly where a taxi stood waiting, door held open despite the rain that fell from the sky in torrents.

"Listen to your father," Carrey told him, eyes filling up with tears.

"I will, mom," he said and began to turn away.

"Zack-," she grasped his arm and looked him in his blue eyes. "This is your last chance," she looked down to collect herself, gulping back a sob. "Please," she looked at him pleadingly. "Don't let me down. Don't let _us_ down."

He nodded. "Bye," he said and ducking under the rain he hurried to the taxi, slinging his luggage inside and sliding in behind it. "I love you, mom!" he shouted to her as the door closed.

"Oh, Zack," she whispered as the taxi began to pull away from the curb. "I love you, too," and as it disappeared from sight she began to cry.

* * *

Zack watched The Tipton disappear from view as the taxi pulled into the streets.In four minutes,he'd be leaving Boston and everything he knew far behind, and he had expected to feel regret. Four minutes to leave the city. Four minutes before the taxi took him somewhere he'd never been before. Somewhere new. Somewhere free. Four minutes.

He'd made mistakes. A lot of them. Maybe too many. But his dad still wanted him, still opened his home to him. It made Zack feel okay about this, it made the anxiety a little less harsh. He was getting a second chance.

Achance without Cody, without his brother for the first time in his life.

He'd be back in a few months. He would be.

Taking out his guitar he gently ran a finger along the smooth surface. "Do you mind if I play a little?" he asked the cab driver.

"Go ahead, kid," the man said, shrugging and turning off the radio.

"Thanks," Zack whispered, placing his fingers over familiar cords and closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. He looked up once at the sky above them. It was going to rain.

And as Boston slowly faded behind him, Zack returned his attention to the guitar.

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**The End**

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_Please review!_


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